The mourning after isn’t always easy, Mikel Merino says – and yes that is mourning with a “u”. “No one died, it’s not a mourning exactly, but at times defeats can feel like that,” the Arsenal midfielder admitted and, although it wasn’t actually a defeat at all, this was one of those times. A 0-0 draw against Cape Verde in their World Cup opener was not the way Spain dreamed it; now, Merino insisted as the selección returned to their Tennessee training camp six long days before they get the chance to make amends, they must deal with it. Each in their own way, but as a family.

There they faced a Spanish inquisition too, which was why Merino – the only player not out on the pitch at 11am the morning after a damaging, unexpected draw in Atlanta – was the player chosen to appear in the press room. Seven long desks full of journalists faced him to go with all the noise outside. All part of the game, he called it. “If there’s one thing that’s not good for us, it is for there to be panic,” he said. So here he was, 30 minutes of questions managed with clarity and conviction, offering insight and inspiration. Remember 2010 when Spain lost their first game and won the World Cup? Merino does. He had just turned 14.

“Like every game that doesn’t go as you’d like, every player lives with that mourning,” Merino said. “Some like to watch the game back straight away, some like to disconnect and think about other things instead. You have to swallow the disappointment. We have to recover as soon as we can. Luis [de la Fuente] always says that it’s about trying to be better tomorrow, even if you’ve won. We’re always self-critical. Personally, I am not one to send messages [to fans]; I think the best message is the next game, turning it around with a win.”

Yet the messages were there. “It is easy to talk of ‘family’ but when things don’t go well, when they are difficult, is when you truly see that ‘family’ – and I see unity, enthusiasm and a will to play well,” Merino said. There was a reflection here on group dynamics: “It is important to have ego; as a footballer, with all the criticism from outside you need it to feel good on the pitch. But you also need the humility to know that this belongs to everyone. Players come to the national team because they are important [at their clubs] and find a new reality where only a few can play.

“That’s what the word ‘family’ is. We have to be united, support each other in every moment. You can be annoyed, angry, but that energy has to be positive.”

The anger can eat at players and it didn’t take long for Merino’s use of mourning to be picked up. “Maybe I didn’t express myself well,” he replied but, actually, he had expressed himself very well and he would return to the same word. “It was an attempt at a metaphor, a comparison. You’re so competitive that when it doesn’t go well, sometimes you go home and don’t even want to talk to your family. That’s why I say it’s like a mourning. Everyone deals with it differently. I like to face it and watch [games back] as soon as possible but that doesn’t mean it’s the best approach for everyone.

“What you want after a bad game is to play again straight away to get the bad taste out of your mouth. The risk [of the expanded World Cup] is you have lots of time to go over it; it’s a mental challenge to deal with that, evade all that and be as free as you can mentally.”

Which is not so easy when it is all played out in public. “That’s a reality; it’s part of the business, the reason we earn what we earn, why football is so big, so important: because you’re here to cover it, to create stories through which we explain things to fans,” Merino said, looking across the room. “There are players who like it more, or like it less, but it’s part of the ‘circus’ and we have to accept it and live with it.

“Everyone handles these moments their own personal way. I’m one of those that finds it hard to swallow a bad result but with time I’ve realised that it is best to [confront it] and start trying to turn it around as soon as possible. Four, five hours and you realise that this [World Cup] has just started, that there is time to fix it. Then you can focus on the group, on what helps them. Put a hand on the shoulder of whoever is hurt because they didn’t play, or missed a chance. Or know who needs space for that mourning.”

Merino admitted that there was relief in seeing Saudi Arabia and Uruguay drawing, leaving him with the feeling that they “start over”. “I like to see the positive side,” he said. “The last world champion started by losing to Saudi Arabia. In 2010 Spain lost the first game and there was lots of criticism and they turned it around; that is an example to follow from people who were idols. I often take inspiration from athletes who have lived my dreams before I did. That generation means so much for this one: we want to emulate them.”

A more recent moment of their own serves as an example too. De la Fuente’s spell in charge had begun with a defeat in Scotland, which unleashed ferocious criticism and brought the team together around their coach. A year later, they were European champions. “Against Scotland something similar happened so we have the experience of dealing with it,” Merino said. “This can help the team understand and it’s still early: we have time and room for improvement. We have the humility and confidence, the calmness, to get better, not to go mad because the result wasn’t good.”