Luke Kennard’s thoughtful piece on straight male authors avoiding writing about sex is well taken (Too hot to handle? Why it’s time for straight male authors to rediscover sex, 12 April). We should welcome more literary courage. But the more urgent conversation isn’t in the pages of fiction – it’s happening (or failing to happen) on dating apps, in classrooms and at parties.

Research shows that we need to rethink sexual pleasure in research, healthcare and society. There is growing evidence on the bidirectional links between sexual function and mental health. Yet many young people are not equipped by their teachers or parents with honest, embodied knowledge about sex and pleasure, let alone that of their partners.

Pornography has filled this vacuum badly. A recent survey from FFS Productions found that one in two young people say porn was their first exposure to sex, with 60% of daily viewers reporting it shaped their expectations of real-life sex. Given how problematic those expectations often are, we need better alternatives.

Here are five starting points for improving sexual knowledge and pleasure. First, explore evidence-based sex education resources like the award-winning OMGYes, which offers interactive, research-led content. Second, talk more openly with friends and partners – The School of Life’s Pillow Talk cards offer a gentle entry point. Third, discover erotic fiction and nonfiction: from Emily Nagoski’s Come Together to classics like The Sexual Life of Catherine M, there is a vast world beyond what most of us were taught in school. Fourth, seek out ethical alternatives to mainstream pornography like feminist site Erika Lust Productions. Fifth, consider getting involved in advocacy: the Pleasure Fellowship supports those who want to champion sexual wellbeing in their communities.

Yes, sex in novels is exciting, and we can use more of it. But let’s start with where it can be even more transformative: off the page.
Vincent Straub
PhD candidate, University of Oxford