David Hytner was at the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium, and here’s his report. Congratulations to Tottenham Hotspur, commiserations to West Ham, and thank you, dear reader, for sticking with this MBM. Remember, everyone: there’s always next year.

David Moyes talks to the BBC: “I didn’t think it was a great performance from us … we need more players … I’m really sad for [former club West Ham] because there are a lot of great people who work behind the scenes there … we weren’t sure if it was Nottingham Forest, West Ham or Tottenham … I thought all three were too strong to go down … having longevity and being a one-club man is very rare and [Seamus Coleman] deserves a lot of credit.”

Roberto De Zerbi talks to Sky: “I’m lucky because we have a lot of big players … under big pressure they played fantastic … maybe it was the best performance in my time here … next season we have to build a top, top, top team … we don’t have to change too many players … but we have to bring in some first-level players.”

It wasn’t the way Seamus Coleman would have wanted to bow out. A row in the dugout with Vicario, followed by a six-minutes-plus-stoppages run-out when the jig was effectively up. But who’ll remember that, as opposed to the other 434 appearances he made for the club? The departing club captain, who has served Everton so well for the past 17 years, taps the badge on his chest and blows a kiss to the travelling Evertonians. He’ll be missed, and remembered fondly.

Spurs captain Micky van de Ven speaks to the BBC. “It’s unacceptable that the last game we played this season, we play for relegation … this club has some unbeilvable players so it was embarrassing to let it come to the final day … but we did it and that is what is important.”

Amid the relief at the Tottenham Hotspur Stadium, there’s also plenty of residual anger. After such a close shave, fans will be expecting a root-and-branch post-mortem during the summer, followed by plenty of positive action. Here’s their first demand.

A disappointed James Tarkowski talks to Sky Sports: “I didn’t think we played very well and it probably took us 75 minutes to get going … it has been a disappointing end to the season and we’ve drifted down the table … we’ve ended the season on a bit of a low … it’s probably just a sign of where we are at as a team … we knew we weren’t the finished article … I am proud but the way it has ended is disappointing … we were in an exciting position five or six weeks ago so it hurts and feels a bit rubbish … but on reflection in a few weeks time we’ll probably say it wasn’t a bad season … we’ve got to progress and improve next season.”

Tottenham’s goalscoring hero Joao Palhinha speaks to Sky Sports. “It’s an amazing feeling … after a really tough season in every single way … we showed today with all the crowd … I never seen anything like that to be honest … after a bad season … to have this environment and support … the club will grow up with this season … we know what we have to do in the future … we have to celebrate … our supporters deserve this.”

Tottenham Hotspur were in serious trouble of going down for the first time since 1977. Roberto De Zerbi arrived just in time on his white horse to save the day: Spurs, once told what’s what, took 11 of the final 18 points available (and would have had four more were it not for strange and unaccountable defensive errors against Brighton and Leeds). So a brighter future stretches out ahead … certainly brighter than it looked during that Igor Turor interregnum, which seems positively psychedelic now. Some big decisions required going forward, though, because once the sugar-rush of survival subsides, two 17th-place finishes is nowhere near good enough for a club of Tottenham’s standing. Work to be done. Though it’s better starting the latest rebuild in the Premier League than the Championship, huh.

As for Everton, they finish in 13th spot. Given their recent scrapes with relegation, that’s not the worst outcome. But there had been hope of European football, a dream that slipped away with four defeats in the last six games. While Spurs grabbed an 11-point haul from the last 18 on offer, Everton bagged just two. David Moyes with a few puzzles to solve, if he gets the chance.

Spurs celebrate … but while glee abounds, it’s not that sort of celebration. A lot of smiles, cheering and waving, but a lot of relieved faces as well. A few exhausted and emotional ones, too, everyone having been put through the ringer this afternoon. West Ham did all they could, but Spurs went front-foot from the off, and deserved their victory today, saving themselves just in time. Congratulations to Tottenham Hotspur; commiserations to West Ham United. What a relegation battle it’s been.

… the whistle goes. Roberto De Zerbi races onto the pitch, because Spurs are staying up!

90 min +11: Ndiaye crosses from the right. Keane lurk, waiting to plant a header home from close range. But Gray eyebrows out for a corner, from which nothing comes, and then …

90 min +10: Roberto De Zerbi discusses timekeeping with the fourth official. But he knows Spurs are nearly there anyway.

90 min +9: Another Everton cross in from the right. Tarkowski heads over from close range. Spurs so, so, so close to safety now!

90 min +8: George bursts in from the left flank and pearls a shot towards the top right. It’s powerful, and heading in, but Kinsky sticks out a strong arm to tip over. That would have set up quite the denouement, and Kinsky continues along his redemption arc!

90 min +7: Kinsky takes his sweet time over a free kick. Can you blame him?

90 min +6: Coleman curls in from the right. Alcaraz rises to meet the cross, but he’s leaning back and can only flash a header wide left. Spurs getting closer and closer, despite doing a proper number on their fans’ nerve-ends.

90 min +5: Spurs blooter long down the middle. Kolo Muani nearly gets on the end of it, but Pickford claims, in his usual erratic manner of course, by rushing out of the area, heading backwards, then nearly clattering the Spurs man en route to claiming the ball once he’s back in his box. He’s entertaining, you’ve got to give him that.

90 min +3: Sarr is fine to continue, but will have to wait to come back on. While he’s on the sidelines, Keane meets a long ball but heads it harmlessly over the bar.

90 min +2: … and he’s still down, so this match is almost certainly going to tick over into 100 minutes plus.

90 min +1: Sarr is down, having taken a whack upside the head.

90 min: One last change for Spurs as Dragusin comes on for Udogie. Meanwhile West Ham have beaten Leeds 3-0, Callum Wilson scoring their final goal deep in injury time. And speaking of which, there will be nine additional minutes in N17.

89 min: Danso goes down again, but this time because he’s been clattered by Tarkowski, who gets booked. Spurs are so close now, and their fans are in fine voice.

88 min: Palhinha is booked for delaying a restart. Then George wins a corner down the left off Spence. But Spurs clear their lines, then Danso goes down to eat up some time. Kinsky tells him to get up, because Spurs don’t want him waiting on the sidelines for 30 seconds should the physio come on. Danso gets up.

86 min: Alcaraz, Keane and George open Spurs up with a crisp interchange down the inside-left channel. George is one on one with Kinsky but instead of trying to dink over, looks for Beto in the middle. A combination of Van de Ven and Kinsky somehow clear. Hearts in mouths all around the stadium there!

84 min: An Everton triple change. Barry, Dewsbury-Hall and Iroegbunam make way for Beto, Alcaraz and, making his 435th and final appearance in an Everton shirt, Seamus Coleman.

83 min: Porro draws a foul in a footrace with George down the Everton left, and celebrates as though he’d just scored a second goal.

82 min: Spurs make another double change. Gallagher and Bentancur are replaced by Gray and, as expected and earlier trailed, Maddison.

80 min: Sarr jinks in from the right and nearly makes enough space for a shot. He then topples over in the vague environs of Iroegbunam’s leg. He claims a penalty, but gets booked for simulation instead.

79 min: A huge cheer breaks out. It’s not news of a Leeds United goal, but the sight of James Maddison putting his shirt on, ready to come on.

78 min: It’s become extremely scrappy. Not sure who this benefits. Your guess is as good as mine.

77 min: A couple of loose Spurs passes. Loud groans. It’s going to be a long final 13 minutes plus stoppages for the denizens of N17.

75 min: GOAL! West Ham 2-0 Leeds. In N17, Kolo Muani lashes a long-range shot over the bar. Meanwhile across London, Jarrod Bowen doubles West Ham’s lead against Leeds. They’re doing all they can to stay up. Can Spurs see it out?

73 min: Spurs – the beneficiaries of another tactical seminar by Roberto De Zerbi during the drinks break – make a double change. Tel and Richarlison are replaced by Sarr and Kolo Muani. When Richarlison takes his seat in the dugout, does he have a face on, do you think?

72 min: Drinks break!

71 min: Tel dribbles fast and hard down the inside-left channel. Iroegbunam takes the ball off his toe, adroitly on the edge of the box. Perfectly timed. It had to be. Everton counter, Garner and Barry briefly threatening to open Spurs up down the right, only for both to drop the pace and turn tail. Danger over.

69 min: … so this is how the table looks now. “All Spurs have to do is not panic and concede twice in the last 30,” notes Hugh Molloy. “Remind me what this ‘Spursy’ thing means again?”

67 min: Kinsky doesn’t really deal with Garner’s corner. But Spurs eventually clear their lines. Everton making most of the running now.

66 min: Everton enjoy some more possession … and Ndiaye wins a corner down the left. The change in atmosphere is pointed. A goal now for Everton would send everyone off into a flat spin.

64 min: GOAL! West Ham 1-0 Leeds. Taty Castellanos has broken the deadlock at the London Stadium … and the mood suddenly darkens in N17. Spurs are still in the box seat, and there’s no need to panic yet, but the nerves are going like the clappers now.

62 min: Everton make a double change, replacing Rohl and O’Brien with George and Armstrong.

61 min: Tel is down getting a spot of treatment. Time for an impromptu drinks break.

59 min: Bentancur knocks Garner to the ground on the right flank. The resulting free kick leads to some head tennis, and an awful lot of murmuring in the stands. Spurs eventually clear their lines, but at some cost to their fans’ nerves.

57 min: Garner comes sliding in on Palhinha, then gives him a sly little upwards flick-kick as they continue to tangle. VAR has a look, but waves play on. Everton have got away with a couple of challenges on the edge of legality this afternoon.

55 min: More sterile Everton domination. It causes Roberto De Zerbi to come to the touchline and tell it as he sees it.

53 min: Everton enjoy a relatively long period of possession, but achieve nothing with it. A reminder, though, that only Arsenal (35) and Manchester City (33) have so far won more points away from home than Everton (26) this season.

51 min: Dewsbury-Hall makes off down the left and is skittled by Van de Ven. He sends in a harmless free kick that Tarkowski tries to make something out of, but fails. Everton have been awfully toothless this afternoon. “The White Heart Danes is certainly a great name for a Spurs supporters’ club in Copenhagen and would be difficult to beat,” writes Kevin Thomson. “Just thinking that a Hearts supporters club in Russia’s Volga-Ural region could be called The Jam Tartars.”