On the subject of getting trains to Speke and buses to Jump (Letters, 10 June), I remember an alarming experience when, as a child, I was allowed to catch a train home through East Anglia on my own for the first time. Realising too late that I had boarded the wrong train, I asked the conductor what to do, and was informed that I wouldn’t be able to get off until March. This happened in November and I only had a packed lunch with me.
Ben Howison
Limpley Stoke, Wiltshire

As a bus driver in Belfast during the 1970s, I was always grateful for the opportunity, when asked “Does this bus go over the Albert Bridge?”, to be able to reply “Well, if it doesn’t there’ll be a hell of a splash.”
Dugald McCullough
Newcastle, County Down

Woman to the driver on boarding a London bus: “Are you going to Turnham Green?” Driver: “No, lady, I’m going to paint ’em yellow.”
Claude Scott
Richmond, London

When on the Northern line of the tube and it is announced “The next station is Oval”, I always rebut it with a simple “No, it isn’t!”
Jerry Stuart
London

We are not the only ones to make placename jokes. One of the commuter terminuses in Tokyo is Kikuna, which appears on the front of the engine. Kiku-na also means “Don’t ask me”. It is therefore not too difficult to guess the amusing answer to the question “Where does that train go?”
Robert Charlesworth
London