THE BUBBLES BURST

After spending the best part of 30 years letting their own fans down, Everton chose Sunday afternoon to disappoint fans of almost every other Premier League team. David Moyes had one big chance to end a season that promised so much but ultimately fizzled out into nothingness on a high! Instead, while Leeds were holding up their end of the quid pro quo by letting West Ham steamroller them in east London, the scouse spoilsports couldn’t even manage a shot on target at Tottenham until the ninth minute of added time. Indeed, even if Tyrique George’s late drive hadn’t been saved by redemption’s Antonin Kinsky, it wouldn’t have counted for anything, because João Palhinha had already given Spurs a one-goal lead. And that was that. Spurs are safe and, after Hearts not winning the Scottish Premiership and Arsenal not bottling the title race, it was further evidence to suggest that many people with skin in the beautiful game are simply not allowed to have nice things.

Having successfully completed the mission he was drafted in to do seven games ago, Roberto De Zerbi immediately singled out a particular hack on the Tottenham beat he felt had not been positive enough about the prospect of writing up player ratings after Championship defeats at the hands of Lincoln City and Stoke next season. “Where is he?” he enquired. “The one who is always there at the Tottenham training ground. He was negative and I’m positive. But I want to hug him, not to fight. I have no energy to fight anymore.” A summer truce duly brokered, De Zerbi went on to say that Sunday’s win was far more important than last season’s Bigger Vase victory over Manchester United. That it was just as unpleasant to watch was neither here nor there, given survival was achieved. “I think we deserve to stay up, because we made 11 points in seven games and we deserved more,” honked the Italian. “From tonight, we have to start to organise and to build the new team.”

Having gone down with Burnley and Wolves, West Ham must also start to organise and build a new team. It is one that may or may not be coached by Nuno Espírito Santo, who remains in place for now but was summoned for a meeting with his employers on Monday; the board is said to be split on whether it wants the Portuguese to continue. It is also a team which is likely to be shorn of Jarrod Bowen, its standout player and any high-earning low achievers with delusions of grandeur they can fob off on other clubs in a bid to recoup some of the £105m of Declan Rice money (and the rest) they blew and are still paying out to assorted other clubs in annual instalments.

While the fortunes shelled out on your Kilmans, your Pablos and your Todibos may have proved a total waste of money, a lot of it still has to be paid. “West Ham spent a lot of money in the transfer market and they owed £196m in unpaid transfer fees at the end of 2025,” explained Football Daily’s favourite Brighton-supporting accountant and football finance expert Kieran Maguire on TalkSport earlier. “Those instalments have to be paid on a year-by-year basis and you do wonder where the cash is to pay them over the next 12 months.” One can only imagine how tight things will be the following year if they follow Luton and Leicester’s paths down to League One.

QUOTE OF THE DAY

“I don’t look at where players come from or their background. What matters are Spanish players who are proud to represent their country’s national team and to be part of a united nation” – Spain boss Luis de la Fuente there, confirming that the total of Real Madrid players in his Geopolitics World Cup squad is: 0.

Before the season started I had a letter published which gently (?) mocked Granit Xhaka for joining Sunderland. Their (and his) spectacular season has proved me entirely wrong. If the prize for today’s letter o’ the day is a portion of humble pie then I think I should win it – and make it a large one” – Phil Taverner.

I’ve only followed the Premier League closely since Mo Salah joined Liverpool (could there be a link there?) and, from my distant vantage point of a TV screen thousands of miles away, it seemed at times that many people cared more about outrageous financial sins, outrageous pundit comments and outrageous refereeing than the actual football. But then my family gifted me a trip to the UK for my 70th, including tickets to the Mecca (Anfield). First came a visit to London Stadium to witness West Ham’s stoppage-time goal against Everton and maybe stay up. Oh. But being there to be part of the fans’ moment of joy was memorable. And a week later, singing YNWA at Anfield. That was enough to make up for the sleepwalk against Chelsea – at the end, the booing was clearly out of love for the team, not nastiness. To those of you who are there for every match, even in the rain and cold, yes, I’m jealous, but mostly I want to thank you for making football what it is, and for trying to fight the $$$ control despite the odds” – Steve Plever, North Carolina, USA (ugh) USA (ugh) USA (ugh).

If you have any, please send letters to the.boss@theguardian.com. Today’s prizeless letter o’ the day is … Steve Plever. Consider this your punishment, Phil. Terms and conditions for our competitions, when we run them, are here.

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Get your ears around the latest episode of Football Weekly, as pod squad Max Rushden, Barry Glendenning, George Elek and Ali Maxwell deliver an EFL playoffs special, diving on the Wembley wins for Hull City, Bolton Wanderers and Notts County. Women’s Football Weekly is also live, with Faye Carruthers joined by Sophie Downey, Emma Sanders and Ayisha Gulati to reflect on Bunny Shaw’s shock U-turn and Barcelona’s dominant Bigger Cup final victory.

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