If that’s the way America celebrates its birthday, you would not want to be present at its funeral. The shining city on a hill is losing some of its lustre these days. The land that promised life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness is struggling to deliver.

A milestone anniversary like 250 years of independence calls for the epic vision of a John F Kennedy, the immaculate timing of a Ronald Reagan or the soaring oratory of a Barack Obama. What it got instead on Wednesday was an 80-year-old convicted criminal who appeared in Home Alone 2 and seems hellbent on dividing the nation.

Donald Trump, speaking at the kick off of the Great American State Fair on the National Mall in Washington, did not meet the moment with poetry, a moonshot or a promise to bind up the nation’s wounds. Instead he went small. Very small.

The 45th and 47th president, standing behind protective glass on a stage near the Washington Monument as a half moon hung in the sky, used his time to discuss topics like transgender “mutilisation”, a new White House ballroom more beautiful than any in the world and rebranding the Gulf of Mexico as the Gulf of America.

Trump also spoke with relish about a spruced up statue of explorer Christopher Columbus (“the white marble is nice and clean”) and railed against the thugs who “gruesomely vandalised” the nearby reflecting pool at the Lincoln Memorial. He is yet to produce evidence that such thugs exist. The man who promised to drain the swamp of Washington has created one all of his own.

But most dismal of all was the way in which the president, whose war in Iran has pushed consumer prices to a three-year high and his approval rating to new lows, turned a national celebration – and potential moment of unity – into just another Trump campaign rally.

Cabinet members and the House of Representatives speaker, Mike Johnson, were in attendance, but Democrats were nowhere to be seen. Among the crowd, along with US flags and America 250 caps, it was not hard to spot Maga hats or other Trump gear. Liberals were as scarce as vegans at a Texas barbecue.

There were other familiar trappings from Trump rallies. Songs by Michael Jackson, Elton John, Elvis Presley, Frank Sinatra and Vivaldi’s Four Seasons boomed out of loudspeakers (though this time the playlist also included the Beatles’ Revolution and Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds).

The event was supposed to feature performers including Young MC, Martina McBride and the Commodores. But those acts and others withdrew amid concerns (now vindicated) that the event had become politicised. The revised programme instead included musical ​performances by the US Marine Band and Christopher Macchio, who belted out Nessun Dorma.

Among those addressing the crowd was the transportation secretary, Sean Duffy, who bemoaned “those libtards that cancelled on us” while winning the prize of sycophant of the night by declaring that Trump is “the greatest president that’s ever existed in this country since George Washington”.

Lee Greenwood, 83, sang God Bless the USA only to be drowned out by military jets roaring overhead, their afterburners visible to the crowd, one of several such displays that evening. Trump joined him on stage to enthusiastic cheers from the crowd (this was no New York Knicks game).

By his own historically low standards, the president was relatively disciplined in sticking to the teleprompter and wrapping up in less than half an hour. No long, rambling tangents about the 2020 election being stolen, bloodthirsty illegal aliens or the size of Arnold Palmer’s penis.

Even so, he could not resist digs at his predecessor Joe Biden, without naming him: “A short time ago we were a dead country”; “Where were we two years ago? We were not respected. We were a joke. We are not a joke any more”; “The American Dream is alive again. It’s something that nobody thought they’d be saying when you went through that last four years of incompetence”.

But perhaps most sinister of all was the insight into what this anniversary really means to Trump (or his id, Stephen Miller). He described the US as “superior to any nation that’s ever been built, no matter how many years it took” and insisted: “We are the ones who are carrying forward the light of western civilisation.” (The far right loves to use the phrase “western civilisation” as a proxy for white Christian nationalism.)

All this was said in the surroundings of Smithsonian Institution museums devoted to US history that Trump has sought to eviscerate. A recent Atlantic magazine article quoted Smithsonian secretary Lonnie Bunch saying this is probably the most difficult time for the institution since the civil war.

Any lingering doubt that this was a Trump rally was banished when it ended with audience members rising to their feet to join him in proclaiming: “Make America great again,” followed by the president breaking into his signature dance as the US Marine Band played the Village People’s YMCA.

Only Donald Trump could make the nation’s special birthday all about him. There is another party – with big fireworks – to come on the National Mall on 4 July. “Your favourite president will be speaking, so please show up,” Trump implored, sounding like Jeb Bush begging: “Please clap.” Sounding, in fact, like a lame duck.