LEGEND HAS IT that when a thoughtless dog owner refuses to pick up their steaming pile of dog poo, a small child will magically appear minutes later and walk in it, or an unsuspecting pram will roll through it at top speed.
To those who’ll scoff, ‘ah, sure you’ve little to be complaining about,’ I’d argue you’ve never had the misfortune of unknowingly rolling a buggy through dog poo and inadvertently brought it into your home, leaving a brown trail of doom behind you in the hall.
You’ve also probably never been that new parent who, desperate for a bit of peace, has taken your newborn out for a walk in the pram in the hopes they’ll finally nap, and you can clear your head, only to roll through a pile of dog poo without realising, because you’re too sleep-deprived to notice.
You’ve probably not then gone on to fold up your pram at the end of the walk, with a crying baby in the car seat, only to found out after you’ve folded the pram up and slid it into the boot, that the dog poo you wheeled through is now all over your jumper and car, and oh yes the toddler stepped in it too and is getting it all over the backseat and possibly the baby.
A modern scourge
Anyone who’s ever gotten dog poo on their hands or person will recall how sick-making it is. Just thinking about the smell alone is enough to make you throw up. As bad as it is for those pushing prams, wheelchair users, many of whom must put their hands on their wheels to get around, run a daily gauntlet with the stuff, as do those with visual impairments who have been vocal in the past about how it affects their lives, especially when it gets on their canes and hands.
The even more maddening part is that it’s completely avoidable. As a dog owner myself, I can’t get my head around why you wouldn’t pick up after your dog when out and about. I assume those same serial offenders don’t leave their back gardens to turn into ‘Mount Crapmore’ and they pick it up and put it in the bin when at home, so why wouldn’t they do the same when out in public?
For a nation that claims to be dog lovers, why do we struggle so much with the basics? Dog poo bags are a dime a dozen, from the bog-standard cheap-as-chips variety all the way up to compostable, colour-matched, and even scented if that’s your fancy. There’s literally no excuse not to clear it up, and yet I’ve heard them all.
“I was on my phone and didn’t notice. No, my dog didn’t do that. My dog was off the lead, and I didn’t see where he did it. I forgot my poo bags. There’s no bin to put it in. I’m just going to leave it for the birds (I don’t even know what to make of that one) or let the sea take it (equally gross).”
But my personal favourite is when a person’s dog poos off the beaten track in a park or forest, and they reason that no one is going to go in there, so they don’t have to pick it up.
“Sure, it will be grand.”
I have to wonder if any of them have actually ever met young children before? Because kids are like a magnet for that very same off-the-beaten-track your dog just shat in. You may as well turn on a flashing neon sign that says, ‘Please, stand here, kids.’
Behind all the shitty excuses, what you’re really saying is that you just couldn’t be arsed picking up after your dog because you think it’s gross, but you think leaving it there makes it somehow no longer gross for those who roll their pram or wheelchair through it or stand in it?
No one is accountable
The truth is that people walk on by because there are little to no consequences for them if they do. For others? Not so much. In fact, dog poo can carry a range of nasty bacteria like Toxocara canis (dog roundworm), which can cause everything from upset stomachs on the mild end to blindness in young children on the severe end.
Those instances are thankfully rare, but there is a real health risk to not picking up dog poo, beyond simply the aesthetics.
As horrific as that all sounds, human nature tells us that personal consequences are the most impactful for change. The plastic bag levy. The bottle recycling scheme. Making people accountable by hitting them in the pocket works.
Disappointingly, though, the number of actual dog fines issued is pitiful. For example, 48 fines were handed out by local authorities in 2024.
And even though fines for not picking up after your dog are due to increase from September, rising from €100 to €150-€250, I’d argue that’s not going to make a bit of difference.
Why? Well, hands up if, as a dog owner, you’ve ever actually met a dog or litter warden in the flesh or know of any fellow dog owner who’s been fined on the spot by either a dog or litter warden for not picking up after their dog?
Anyone?
Increases in fines like this make for great headlines and soundbites for ministers and local councils, but if, in reality, the dog warden is as incorporeal as the Tooth Fairy, it makes little sense to ramp up fines that will likely never be slapped on offenders, especially those who never pick up after their dog.
What would be more impactful is simply enforcing the fines we already have. What would work is making dog wardens and litter wardens more than just abstract concepts, virtually no one has seen in real life. Having more wardens patrolling public spaces, especially now that the summer is here, is what’s needed to tackle serial offenders.
Plenty will scoff that dog poo is a ‘first-world problem.’ And they are right. It’s a small problem in the grand scheme of things, but it is such an easy fix, so why wouldn’t we tackle it?
But when we continue to live in towns where enforcement is a myth and where people do baffling things like leave dog poo for the birds or think that hanging filled dog poo bags out of trees is a legit way of clearing up after their furry friend, my advice is to never leave home without a pack of wet wipes in your bag, because you’re going to need them.
Niamh O’Reilly is a freelance journalist and parenting columnist for TheJournal.ie.