AS THE END of the school year rolls into town for most primary school children this week, the age-old dilemma of what to give your child’s teachers and special needs assistants (SNAs) rumbles on. Do you gift, do you not? What do you get if you do, and how much should you spend?
Teachers’ gifts are a newish phenomenon for today’s current crop of parents. They were practically unheard of when I was in school, apart from when I left in sixth year and maybe gave those one or two teachers I really felt a connection with a card or flowers, but today, more so at primary level, it’s become the expected norm to give your children’s teachers some token of thanks.
There was a time not so long ago, when I naively thought that my children’s teachers would love nothing more than a personalised token of our appreciation for all their hard work and care during the year.
I went and got Christmas ornaments made up with thoughtful ‘thank you Ms/Mr (teacher’s name)’ messages on them in December and bought things like ‘World’s Best Teacher’ mugs or bars of chocolate with their names on them to give them in June. I handed these things over, enthusiastically patting myself on the back, thinking it was the best idea ever.
Personalised mug, you say? Sure, no one else will have got them that! Genius move. Looking back, while well-intentioned, I can see now that they probably wanted that kind of glorified tat like a hole in the head.
Tat for landfill
Teachers and SNA’s have likely been given enough scented candles, ‘World’s Best Teacher’ socks, boxes of chocolates and dodgy bottles of vino to see them out.
In fact, I know one teacher who told me that she has been given so many scented candles over the years that she’s stopped opening them altogether and simply regifts them to others for birthdays and Christmas.
Now that’s a genius move.
But it begs the question: what do teachers and SNA’s really want as gifts? They can be bashful and noble all they like and say they don’t want or need anything, that the job is its own reward, yadda, yadda, yadda, but even when school sends out directives asking for no gifts, most parents are going to give a small token of appreciation on the sly.
Because if lockdown taught every parent in the country one universal and humbling lesson they never forgot, it’s that most of us are not cut out to be teachers.
The WhatsApp trap
Be warned, though, if the topic of teachers’ gifts still hasn’t come up in your child’s class WhatsApp Group yet, then at this late stage, it’s very likely that a game of ‘organisation chicken’ is going on, and the first person to put their head above the parapet and bring it up will end up being the one who has to organise it. Sorry, but those are the rules.
Of course, you’ll get people who love organising things like this, and I thank God for them, because having been the one asked to take charge of teachers’ whip rounds in the past, I can tell you it’s a total pain in the arse. You’ll spend far too many hours at this already busy end of term time trying to count the yays and nays, putting up polls and attempting to keep everyone happy with the amount spent and the gift chosen. Even with the advent of platforms like Revolut, you’ll still be left short because it’s mortifying having to chase other parents for money.
Your phone will explode with all the lovely, but redundant ‘thank you for organising’ messages pinging back and forth, and don’t forget the inevitable person who decides they aren’t going to do the communal gift this year, they are going to get a separate gift instead.
This inevitably makes people wonder if everyone is doing sneaky side gifts, and if you should do that, too? Before you know it, the whole thing goes off a cliff and becomes bigger and more expensive than it needs to be.
But how much should you spend on a teacher’s gift? And who do you give gifts to? This is where it gets tricky, as many children might have SNAs or support staff, a main teacher, and maybe music teachers or sports coaches they’d like to give something to, as well as those who run their after-school activities or after-care services.
In some cases, you can end up with a gift list that resembles Christmas, at what’s an already expensive time of the year. Most parents will have recently stumped up for school tours and trips, and let’s not forget the relay of pricey summer camps teed up for the childcare-free weeks ahead. So, for many, splashing out on multiple teacher gifts can be a stretch.
So, how much?
According to a Journal.ie poll 32% of people spend or contribute between €10 and €20 on a gift for a teacher.
Sounds very reasonable on its own, but if you’ve got more than one child and want to include the SNA and support staff in those gifts, as well as something for the coaches/teachers of your children’s after-school activities, those costs can rack up quickly.
In a straw poll I put out on social media asking teachers what they actually wanted, most replies were things like homemade cards or notes from the kids.
Refreshingly, these things actually meant a whole lot more to them than some personalised ‘World’s Best Teacher’ tat from a pound/Euro shop that will probably break a week after they get it.
Vouchers were another welcome gift, but not for huge amounts or necessarily for big retailers either. In fact, the consistent suggestion was vouchers for places like local coffee shops; probably because our children’s ‘unbridled energy and enthusiasm’, sends teachers running for the same caffeine train as we parents live on.
So, whatever way you plan to do it, make sure you thank your children’s teachers.
Niamh O’Reilly is a freelance journalist and parenting columnist for TheJournal.ie.