The 34-year-old paid tribute to his parents in an emotional essay, praising their warmth, kindness, and humor

Jake Reiner, the son of Rob and Michele Reiner, described the “living nightmare” he has endured since the December deaths of his late parents in an emotional essay posted to Substack on Friday. “Nothing can prepare you for what it feels like to lose both parents instantly at the same time,” he wrote. “It’s too devastating to comprehend.” It’s the most in-depth statement he’s made since his younger brother, Nick, was charged with first-degree murder for allegedly stabbing the filmmaker and his wife to death.

“We lost more than half of our family that night in the most violent way imaginable,” he wrote. “Sure, any loss of a parent is devastating, but nothing compares to losing both of them at the same time and, on top of that, having your brother be at the center of it. It’s almost too impossible to process.

“I understand that people have questions about what happened,” he continued. “Some of those answers will come in time. But some parts of this belong only to our family, and keeping them private is the only way to protect what little remains of something that was taken from us.”

The majority of Reiner’s essay, though, contains loving tributes to Michele, whom he describes as compassionate and secretly funny, and his dad, whom he says was just as warm and kind off-camera as the actor and filmmaker the public got to know. He recalls Broadway shows and baseball games. And he writes that he’s grateful for the support his family showed him when he announced that he wanted to shift careers from broadcasting to acting.

Mostly, though, Reiner’s essay is about grief. He recounts the immediate shock he felt when his sister Romy told him both of his parents had died. (Romy, he wrote, would tell the story when she felt comfortable). And the immediate loss he felt when he knew that his parents wouldn’t get to see him married, hold a future baby, or see what he made of himself in his chosen career. “It simultaneously breaks my heart and enrages me,” he wrote.

He also provided an answer for all of the people who have come up to him since the Reiners’ deaths telling him that they don’t know what to say. “The truth is, there is nothing to say,” he wrote. “I just ask for love and compassion — the same principles my parents lived by.”

In an Instagram post, he explained that he would be turning 35, alluding to how the milestone of an upcoming birthday made him want to open up. “In the last four months, I’ve learned a lot about grief. I want to thank [author David Kessler, founder of Grief.com], who has been instrumental in navigating the horrors of this process, as well as my family and friends,” he wrote.

In December, Jake and Romy issued a joint statement about the deaths of their parents. “Words cannot even begin to describe the unimaginable pain we are experiencing every moment of the day,” they wrote. “The horrific and devastating loss of our parents, Rob and Michele Reiner, is something that no one should ever experience. They weren’t just our parents; they were our best friends.” In March, the Oscars celebrated the Reiners’ legacy with a moving tribute, which featured appearances by many actors and actresses who’d worked with Rob.

In February, Nick Reiner pleaded not guilty to murdering his parents. A preliminary hearing is set for Wednesday.