"There are probably more hardworking American-value individuals in the liberal hellhole of New York City than exist in the entire states of Wyoming, Idaho, and Mississippi combined"

Jon Stewart spent much of Monday night’s episode of The Daily Show lauding the Knicks’ victory, describing the NBA championships win as resulting in an “overwhelming sense of joy and solidarity and diversity and community and a good amount of crying and a lot of contact high.”

Stewart recounted New York’s enthusiastic reaction to the Knicks winning, including the appearance of multiple Spider-Man costumes, a dancing MTA bus driver, and a drum line. The right wing media, of course, described the festivities as “chaos” and “mayhem,” but Stewart noted that reaction was a “record low” for a Saturday night.

“I guess it’s all about what side of the aisle you sit on: Where you see a mob destroying a school bus, I see people of all faiths and creeds and colors and sexualities coming together to destroy a school bus,” Stewart said. “It ain’t a melting pot until you light that bitch on fire!”

Stewart then launched into a comparison and takedown of the other big sporting event of the weekend: Donald Trump‘s UFC Freedom 250, which took place on the White House lawn. “What a god-awful mockery of an event that somehow managed to find a way to devalue both combat sports and our national dignity,” Stewart said. “Who even aired this embarrassing shit?”

As it turns out the event was aired on Paramount+, the parent company of Comedy Central, which airs The Daily Show. That revelation quickly caused Stewart to switch gears. “And what a fine event it was,” he said, sheepishly. “Once again, the leaders of Paramount+ providing us all with incredible content at reasonable prices. I am proud to stand with the Paramount family and whatever shows they decide to either cancel or put on.”

The show immediately cut to one of the fighters, Josh Hokit, declaring, “Michelle Obama is a man. Am I right, America?” Stewart pretended to laugh before replying, “My God, what a fucking asshole.”

After playing a clip of reporters claiming the UFC event was something the “average American” could connect with, Stewart noted, “You know, the average American, they don’t want their White House to stand for certain morals and values. The regular people in this country want their president to live in a slightly more violent Hooters, or a slightly less violent Waffle House.”

He added, “But somehow those of us who live in the shithole parts of the country are the ones looking down on you? … God, I’m so fucking tired of this. You guys always trying to draw a distinction between the real America of the heartland and the elites in the big city. But it’s never been true. If being a real American means sacrificing and working your ass off to try and achieve the dream of a better life for your children, no Americans are more real than New Yorkers. None of ’em. We have eight and a half million people here. There are probably more hardworking American-value individuals in the liberal hellhole of New York City than exist in the entire states of Wyoming, Idaho, and Mississippi combined.”

Stewart concluded, “The real division in America isn’t between cities and rural areas or suburbs or heartland values and coastal elites or liberals and conservatives, it’s between people anywhere who find joy in community versus those who seem to only find it in fealty. And I know which America I want to occasionally step in dog shit in.”