“Vanilla Ice did not pull out, which I do realize sounds like the answer to the question, ‘Why does that baby have frosted tips?’”

John Oliver recounted the disaster that Donald Trump‘s upcoming Freedom 250 concert series is quickly becoming on HBO‘s Last Week Tonight. The shows, intended to celebrate America’s 250th birthday, were announced with a lineup of artists like Bret Michaels, Vanilla Ice, C+C Music Factory, and Milli Vanilli.

“It is a stacked lineup of people that you haven’t thought about since 2009,” Oliver quipped. “Honestly, that sounds less like America’s 250th birthday and more like the playlist at Rhonda’s 50th. The only really surprising thing about that lineup is there aren’t special appearances from the ShamWow guy and the Gushers kid whose head turned into a raspberry.”

Several of the artists, including Martina McBride and Michaels, signed on thinking the event was nonpartisan. But it has emerged that it is not.

“Now, crucially, the organization planning that event, Freedom 250, is not the same thing as the nonprofit America250, led by a bipartisan board created by Congress,” Oliver recounted. “Instead, it’s a public-private partnership launched by the White House with some dicey elements, including the fact that for $1 million, donors to it could get access to Trump. And as its political slant became clear, acts who were part of that initial announcement quickly began to bail.”

Over the past week, Young MC, Morris Day and the Time, McBride, Michaels, and the Commodores have all pulled out. This led to Trump proclaiming on Truth Social that he would replace them and “give a major speech, rallying the Country forward like I have done ever since being President!”

“Yeah, that is a lot of cancellations,” Oliver acknowledged. “Although I do have to tell you: Vanilla Ice did not pull out, which I do realize sounds like the answer to the question, ‘Why does that baby have frosted tips?’ Even some of the acts currently still scheduled to play may not be the exact people you’re expecting. For instance, neither of the C’s in C+C Music Factory will be performing, it’s just their rapper Freedom Williams, who initially agreed to perform, then considered backing out, then doubled down on performing because he was so mad that people were criticizing him.”

The late-night host continued, “Even with those cancellations, there will still be things to do because Freedom 250 is also touting attractions that will include state and territory showcases from across America, a 110-foot Ferris wheel, CEO and innovator-led conversations and demonstrations, and special screenings of the iconic films National Treasure and National Treasure: Book of Secrets, bringing a real ‘substitute teacher doesn’t give a fuck’ energy to the proceedings.”

He added that he assumed even some of the nonhuman attractions would eventually cancel: “Given how everything has been going, I wouldn’t be remotely surprised if tomorrow we got a press release reading, ‘Due to divisive politics, I will no longer be attending the 250th celebration’ from the fucking Ferris wheel.”