Long gone are the days when the traditional “dinner and a movie” was an ideal first date. I mean, have you seen movie ticket prices? 

Not to mention, more people are dating around, so they’re going on a ton of first dates, which can add up. 

The solution? DIY dating.

What Is DIY Dating?

There are a few ways to define DIY dating: for one, it can refer to using DIY crafts and activities as dates rather than traditional dinner or drinks. This provides a more creative, expressive, and casual environment for you and your date.

On the other hand, it could describe your actual dating approach, where you basically create your dates from scratch. Aka, you “do-it-yourself.”

“DIY dating is all about whimsy and creation,” says Julie Nguyen, a certified dating coach at Hily Dating App. “It’s the sort of date where you can create space for curiosity and childlike fun together. Some examples are paint-and-sip nights, making clay art at home, trying out a new recipe, or taking your sketchbooks to a park and taking turns drawing each other.”

When it comes to DIY dating, the trick is to tailor your dates to your and your partner’s interests. For example, let’s say your crush loves coffee. Maybe you can go “cafe-hopping,” hitting a bunch of coffee shops in your area.

“Skip the dinner and drink idea, and think about what would make the date feel more memorable for their unique flavor of expression,” Nguyen recommends. “If they love art, go to a museum and pretend to be art critics as you walk through the gallery halls. If they love reading, spend an afternoon in a bookstore and pick out a book that reminds you of each other. The goal is to be creative.”

Benefits of DIY Dating

Many modern daters are tired of the same old story: swiping right on a dating app, chatting for a few days, then grabbing drinks to decide whether they like the person. 

DIY dating makes an often-dreaded experience far more fun and lighthearted, taking the pressure off both you and your date.

Additionally, “It gets you out of your comfort zone,” says Nguyen. “When you’re sharing an experience together, it becomes easier to move beyond the standard date script and the usual getting-to-know-you questions. You get to see different sides of each other’s personalities. Playfulness can be a surprisingly good way to build a deeper connection.”

Of course, before you go committing to this venture, you’ll want to make sure the person you’re dating is also game for the activities you have planned.

“DIY dating tends to work best when both people are down for that type of experience,” says Nguyen. “Someone who prefers more traditional dating might see it as too unconventional or want to be courted in a specific way.”

In which case, you’ll learn of any incompatibilities early on.