Forget the sex recession. Some people have found a replacement they actually like better. A growing number of adults are choosing sexting as their preferred form of intimacy—deliberately, and with other options available.
According to a new survey of 2,000 adults by Dating.com, 14% of people have chosen sexting over real-life sex even when the real thing was on the table. Not as a fallback. Not because circumstances forced it. By choice.
That’s a notable number, but it’s not the most interesting one in the study. Nearly half of the respondents find sexting hot. One in four uses it to explore fantasies they’d never act on in person. And 13% specifically cite the ability to “log off whenever they want” as a selling point—which says a lot about what people are actually looking for in intimate experiences right now.
Jaime Bronstein, LCSW, and resident therapist at Dating.com, explains: “Sexting gives people a sense of excitement, validation, and control with far less vulnerability than in-person intimacy. For many, it can feel emotionally safer because they can carefully manage how much of themselves they reveal while still experiencing attention, flirtation, and connection.”
All the good parts of intimacy, with a logout button. Fantasy without follow-through, attention without exposure. A growing number of people have done that math and liked the answer.
The data also reveals a pretty glaring double standard. 83% of respondents agree that sexting someone outside a relationship counts as cheating. Nearly 1 in 4 has done it anyway, and 22% cop to having a regular sexting buddy on the side while dating someone else. Seven percent say they still do. People have drawn a clear line and then walked right over it.
Platonic friendships are getting complicated, too. Four in ten respondents have sexted a platonic friend at least once, and 9% do it regularly. Whatever “just friends” means in 2026, it covers more ground than it used to.
Then there’s the workplace angle. More than one in five adults admit to sexting at work—16% with someone online, and 5% with an actual colleague. Six percent say they’ve prioritized sexting over actual work tasks. HR probably loves hearing that one.
Bronstein adds a note of caution: “The challenge is that sexting can easily blur emotional and relationship boundaries, especially when it becomes more about reassurance, escape, or validation than genuine intimacy.”
At this point, that blur appears to be the feature, not the bug.
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