Somehow, their stock is still trading 3 times higher on “something something AI” than it was on their all-too-real woolen footwear.
It’s weird and queasy and funny-but-not-funny. But for the people who bought Allbirds stock at the right moment, it’s also an immediate 6x return on investment. It’s real money made from cashing in on fake promises before somebody else does… but it’s an even better deal for the folks who made those fake promises in the first place.
It’s the fear of missing out, shamelessly and successfully monetized.
It’s FOMOnetization.
For those of you not up on cursed millennial internet lingo, “FOMO” means “Fear of Missing Out”. It’s that weird pit in your stomach when you suddenly wonder if everyone else is having more fun than you are. It’s “tfw you want to stay home and watch netflix but your friends are going to the club.” (Or so I’m told. I am not afraid of missing out on the club.)
FOMO is a feeling. But it’s also a business model—and increasingly, one of the more successful ones. Fear, in general, makes people much easier to separate from their money. It’s perfectly suited to this moment of ubiquitous grift, where everything feels like a lottery ticket or a multi-level marketing scheme.
It’s even more perfectly suited for “the age of AI,” which squeezes economic FOMO from both sides. AI could make you wildly rich (the first person to start a billion-dollar company with zero employees!) or leave you hopelessly destitute (part of the looming “permanent underclass”). Which one do you want to be? Smash that like button, sign up for my online course, and use my new AI-powered business platform!
(edit: absolutely no shade to the folks offering genuinely useful, instructive, and valuable ai-related courses and content out there—i appreciate you!)
I just took a look at my LinkedIn feed, and I’d say that about 50% of it feels like it is landing somewhere in a FOMOnetization funnel. You’re still using MCPs? It’s already too late, bro! You’re not using AI to do the one thing I conveniently offer a course about? Welcome to perpetual unemployment.
Here are a few tell-tale signs of FOMOnetization that have helped me stay (relatively) sane during this very strange time:
Language like “Everything just changed,” “Most product managers are still __________,” “It’s not _____ . It’s _______” etc.
There are certain framings that are clearly intended to trigger fear and insecurity. I don’t have much patience for them anymore—especially given how many of them are clearly written by AI. If you can’t even write your own FOMOnetization content, get out of my feed.
Stories about businesses with no obvious business model
Remember that NY Times story about the “first $1B business with no employees”? Yup. It was a good old-fashioned scam. (But if the NY Times didn’t breathlessly report on the scam—somebody else might have reported on it first!)
Pushing a version of the future that just happens to align with the speaker’s material interests
As one clever tweeter observed in response to a tech CEO insisting that everybody should become an expert in AI: “CEO OF OREO: ‘I would advise that everyone eat 50 Oreos a day. Maybe even 100.’”
Exploiting insecurity to fuel grift is nothing new. Those essential oils weren’t going to cure your chronic disease, and that new AI platform isn’t going to suddenly make you the founder of a billion-dollar business. But the folks who are pushing that AI platform sure do appreciate your $995 of yearly ARR on their balance sheet.
Speaking of FOMO, I managed to get tickets to see Life Without Buildings in London this November. I can’t remember the last time I was this excited to see a band perform. Their one studio album Any Other City is brilliant, but their live album Live at the Annandale Hotel is an all-timer.
Thanks so much for taking an interest in my work. As always, you can reach me directly at [email protected].
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