This paper presents a unified framework for exploiting the boundaries of reconfigurable intelligent surfaces (RIS) joint optimization in multi-user wireless systems, where a single RIS accommodates diverse objectives.We first propose an adaptive gradient-scaling mechanism that accelerates the convergence of the underlying optimization algorithm while maintaining stable performance across varying channel and system parameters. The proposed mechanism enables the solver to reach a reasonably good solution rapidly without requiring manual tuning of step sizes or algorithmic hyperparameters when system inputs change. We then propose a low-complexity beamformer recovery method tailored for single-user scenarios, which circumvents the full matrix decomposition required by traditional approaches, thereby significantly reducing computational overhead. Building on these foundations, we develop an element allocation strategy that enables user-specific prioritization through assignment of RIS subsets. This is further extended by a modular add-drop mechanism that supports partial-panel optimization in general multi-user settings. The framework is evaluated across three representative scenarios: (i) signal amplification for all users, (ii) signal suppression for all users, and (iii) selective amplification and suppression. To characterize performance limits, we derive power trade-off boundaries using scalarized joint optimization, which closely align with Monte Carlo simulations. Our unified joint optimization method consistently yield solutions near these boundaries, confirming its near-optimality. Extensive simulations under realistic channel models demonstrate that the proposed approach outperforms conventional semidefinite relaxation techniques, offering a scalable and effective RIS control strategy for cooperative and competitive multi-user environments.