Let $Φ\in\mathbb{R}^{m\times n}$ be a sparse Johnson-Lindenstrauss transform [KN14] with $s$ non-zeroes per column. For a subset $T$ of the unit sphere, $\varepsilon\in(0,1/2)$ given, we study settings for $m,s$ required to ensure $$ \mathop{\mathbb{E}}_Φ\sup_{x\in T} \left|\|Φx\|_2^2 - 1 \right| < \varepsilon , $$ i.e. so that $Φ$ preserves the norm of every $x\in T$ simultaneously and multiplicatively up to $1+\varepsilon$. We introduce a new complexity parameter, which depends on the geometry of $T$, and show that it suffices to choose $s$ and $m$ such that this parameter is small. Our result is a sparse analog of Gordon's theorem, which was concerned with a dense $Φ$ having i.i.d. Gaussian entries. We qualitatively unify several results related to the Johnson-Lindenstrauss lemma, subspace embeddings, and Fourier-based restricted isometries. Our work also implies new results in using the sparse Johnson-Lindenstrauss transform in numerical linear algebra, classical and model-based compressed sensing, manifold learning, and constrained least squares problems such as the Lasso.