In arithmetic statistics and analytic number theory, the asymptotic growth rate of counting functions giving the number of objects with order below $X$ is studied as $X\to \infty$. We define general counting functions which count epimorphisms out of an object on a category under some ordering. Given a probability measure $μ$ on the isomorphism classes of the category with sufficient respect for a product structure, we prove a version of the Law of Large Numbers to give the asymptotic growth rate as $X$ tends towards $\infty$ of such functions with probability $1$ in terms of the finite moments of $μ$ and the ordering. Such counting functions are motivated by work in arithmetic statistics, including number field counting as in Malle's conjecture and point counting as in the Batyrev-Manin conjecture. Recent work of Sawin--Wood gives sufficient conditions to construct such a measure $μ$ from a well-behaved sequence of finite moments in very broad contexts, and we prove our results in this broad context with the added assumption that a product structure in the category is respected. These results allow us to formalize vast heuristic predictions about counting functions in general settings.