We investigate the large-distance asymptotics of optimal Hardy weights on $\mathbb Z^d$, $d\geq 3$, via the super solution construction. For the free discrete Laplacian, the Hardy weight asymptotic is the familiar $\frac{(d-2)^2}{4}|x|^{-2}$ as $|x|\to\infty$. We prove that the inverse-square behavior of the optimal Hardy weight is robust for general elliptic coefficients on $\mathbb Z^d$: (1) averages over large sectors have inverse-square scaling, (2), for ergodic coefficients, there is a pointwise inverse-square upper bound on moments, and (3), for i.i.d.\ coefficients, there is a matching inverse-square lower bound on moments. The results imply $|x|^{-4}$-scaling for Rellich weights on $\mathbb Z^d$. Analogous results are also new in the continuum setting. The proofs leverage Green's function estimates rooted in homogenization theory.