We prove that, as $m$ grows, any family of $m$ homotopically distinct closed curves on a surface induces a number of crossings that grows at least like $(m \log m)^2$. We use this to answer two questions of Pach, Tardos and Toth related to crossing numbers of drawings of multigraphs where edges are required to be non-homotopic. Furthermore, we generalize these results, obtaining effective bounds with optimal growth rates on every orientable surface.