For $n\in\mathbb{N}$ and $\ell\in\{0,1,\dots,n\}$, we consider the function extracting the $\ell$th coefficient of the Ehrhart polynomials of lattice polytopes in $\mathbb{R}^n$. These functions form a basis of the space of unimodular invariant valuations. We show that, in even dimensions, these functions are in fact simultaneous symplectic Hecke eigenfunctions. We leverage this and apply the theory of spherical functions and their associated zeta functions to prove analytic, asymptotic, and combinatorial results about the arithmetic functions averaging $\ell$th Ehrhart coefficients.