When the training and test data are from different distributions, domain adaptation is needed to reduce dataset bias to improve the model's generalization ability. Since it is difficult to directly match the cross-domain joint distributions, existing methods tend to reduce the marginal or conditional distribution divergence using predefined distances such as MMD and adversarial-based discrepancies. However, it remains challenging to determine which method is suitable for a given application since they are built with certain priors or bias. Thus they may fail to uncover the underlying relationship between transferable features and joint distributions. This paper proposes Learning to Match (L2M) to automatically learn the cross-domain distribution matching without relying on hand-crafted priors on the matching loss. Instead, L2M reduces the inductive bias by using a meta-network to learn the distribution matching loss in a data-driven way. L2M is a general framework that unifies task-independent and human-designed matching features. We design a novel optimization algorithm for this challenging objective with self-supervised label propagation. Experiments on public datasets substantiate the superiority of L2M over SOTA methods. Moreover, we apply L2M to transfer from pneumonia to COVID-19 chest X-ray images with remarkable performance. L2M can also be extended in other distribution matching applications where we show in a trial experiment that L2M generates more realistic and sharper MNIST samples.