Speech-driven 3D facial animation has been an attractive task in both academia and industry. Traditional methods mostly focus on learning a deterministic mapping from speech to animation. Recent approaches start to consider the non-deterministic fact of speech-driven 3D face animation and employ the diffusion model for the task. However, personalizing facial animation and accelerating animation generation are still two major limitations of existing diffusion-based methods. To address the above limitations, we propose DiffusionTalker, a diffusion-based method that utilizes contrastive learning to personalize 3D facial animation and knowledge distillation to accelerate 3D animation generation. Specifically, to enable personalization, we introduce a learnable talking identity to aggregate knowledge in audio sequences. The proposed identity embeddings extract customized facial cues across different people in a contrastive learning manner. During inference, users can obtain personalized facial animation based on input audio, reflecting a specific talking style. With a trained diffusion model with hundreds of steps, we distill it into a lightweight model with 8 steps for acceleration. Extensive experiments are conducted to demonstrate that our method outperforms state-of-the-art methods. The code will be released.