AutoMegaKernel (AMK) compiles a HuggingFace Llama-family model into a single persistent cooperative CUDA kernel that runs the whole forward pass in one launch, with no per-model hand-written CUDA. The contribution is the system, not raw speed. A frozen schedule-IR validator statically certifies deadlock-freedom and race-freedom via static graph checks (not a mechanized proof), so an unsafe agent-proposed schedule is rejected before launch: across 7,160 adversarial schedules (6,091 unsafe) it had zero false-accepts and accepted all 360 real lowerings. The same source retargets sm_80/sm_90/sm_120 from one codebase, auto-generates correct megakernels for 10 of 10 supported models, and on a real SmolLM2-135M checkpoint reproduces HuggingFace greedy decode token-for-token (perplexity match 2.5e-7). An unattended, agent-drivable autoresearch loop self-improves the megakernel over its own baseline (1.25-1.72x). A search-found int8 (W8A16) megakernel beats CUDA-graphed cuBLAS bf16 at batch-1 decode across NVIDIA's datacenter inference fleet: L4 up to 1.33x, the current-gen L40S 1.25-1.27x, A10G up to 1.08x at scale, and the consumer RTX 5090 1.19-1.23x. The ordering is not a clean function of bandwidth (the 864 GB/s L40S beats the 600 GB/s A10G); the divide is inference-class vs training-class. AMK trails cuBLAS on the high-bandwidth training-class A100/H100, where the harness localizes the cross-SM-sync bottleneck; we report the gap plainly. This is a precision-asymmetric (W8A16 vs bf16) comparison at decode position 0; the largest real checkpoint is TinyLlama-1.1B. Code and the harness: https://github.com/RightNow-AI/AutoMegaKernel