We outline a bicategorical syntax for the interaction between public and private information in classical information theory. We use this to give high-level graphical definitions of encrypted communication and secret sharing protocols, including a characterization of their security properties. Remarkably, this makes it clear that the protocols have an identical abstract form to the quantum teleportation and dense coding procedures, yielding evidence of a deep connection between classical and quantum information processing. We also formulate public-key cryptography using our scheme. Specific implementations of these protocols as nondeterministic classical procedures are recovered by applying our formalism in a symmetric monoidal bicategory of matrices of relations.