Off-Chain transactions allow for the immediate transfer of Cryptocurrency between two parties, without delays or unavoidable transaction fees. Such capabilities are critical for mainstream Cryptocurrency adaption. They allow for the "Coffee-Coin Criteria"; under which a customer orders a coffee and pays for that coffee in bitcoins. This is not possible with On-Chain transactions today. Unfortunately, all existing Off-Chain transaction protocols are notoriously unreliable The current generation of third-party facilitators are vulnerable to hacker-based attacks. As Mt. Gox tragically demonstrated, centralized-transaction institutions are easy targets for Cryptocurrency thieves. The slightest security flaw in a third-party system will pounced on by hackers, who will proceed to devour it like ants devouring a crab. Under such circumstances, it no wonder that the Public treats most Cryptocurrency services with a constant shadow of suspicion. For Bitcoin to flourish, its anti-hierarchy principles must be applied to safe Off-Chain transactions. First and foremost, we need a new hacker-proof protocol that can easily be executed by any experienced developer. Preferably, the protocol will be open-sourced for full reliability and transparency. This paper presents one such procedure, which allows for he safe transmission of Bitcoin private key control by way of Cryptocubic transactions.