Rumer Willis Reveals How She Handles Criticism as a Single Mom
Rumer Willis wanted to give herself her best chance at love.
And despite the two years she spent with her ex Derek Richard Thomas, including welcoming their daughter Louetta, 2, it was after attending her best friend Maeve Reilly’s wedding that Rumer realized she deserved more.
“Your wedding literally was a huge reckoning moment for me in my life,” she told Maeve while appearing on the May 18 episode of The Inside Edit podcast. “I heard your vows and I just realized that the situation I was in was never going to look like that, no matter how much effort I put in. And I was like watching you guys just weeping, holding my child.”
The 37-year-old—who welcomed Louetta just over a year before her and Derek's 2024 breakup—continued, “I just thought, ‘You know what? I need to have more value for myself. I need to go and like leave no matter how scared I am and find something that looks like this because I want that.’”
Rumer admitted she hasn’t done much dating since she and Derek parted ways, and that it’s only recently that she’s started to feel ready to seek that out.
“I’m just starting to feel back in my power, I would say in the last like 8 months,” she said, “of feeling kind of confident and feeling back into myself after a really challenging relationship. And I try not to speak negatively, but like also my truth is that it was really brutal and challenging and I'm so proud of myself.”
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E! News has attempted to contact Derek for comment but has not yet heard back.
In fact, despite calling her decision to end her relationship “one of the most brutal things” she’s ever had to do, Rumer is feeling more centered as she thinks about who she might welcome into her life next.
“There are things that now going into my next relationship that I have a totally different set of standards and a different thing that I'm looking for,” she explained. “I don't want to just be with anybody.”
“It's why I haven't really dated in probably a year and a half because my focus was my daughter,” she added. “For the first time it wasn't about finding a guy. And that feels so embarrassing to say, even though I know a lot of people will, I'm sure, relate to that because I felt now reflecting as I'm traveling with my kid and trying to do all this work and I have all this responsibility.”
But when it comes to prioritizing Louetta, Rumer wouldn’t have it any other way.
As she put it, “It’s such a privilege to be a mom. It makes me so happy.”
And for a closer look into Rumer’s journey as mom to Louetta, read on.
Instagram/Rumer Willis
Rumer Willis welcomed her first child with then-boyfriend Derek Thomas in April 2023, introducing their daughter Louetta Isley Thomas Willis to the world in an Instagram post.
"You are pure magic," Rumer captioned the photo. "You are more than we ever dreamed of."
Rumer, the eldest daughter of Bruce Willis and Demi Moore, revealed Lou was born at home and later shared images of her birth experience.
Instagram/Rumer Willis
One month after Lou's birth, Rumer penned an emotional message to her daughter, sharing that she had "waited and dreamed of you my whole life."
"You have changed my life in the most profound way," The House Bunny actress continued. "It is the privilege and honor of my life to be your Mother and I will do everything and anything for you always. I hope you never stop wanting to sleep next to me or take baths with me."
Rumer went on to thank her sisters, Tallulah Willis and Scout Willis, for supporting her through her pregnancy and at-home birth experience.
"To my sisters, my best friends, my partners in crime," she wrote, "to have you there to share in the moment that I was able to bring my girl in the world is a moment I will never forget. You have watched and supported me on the journey and know what it meant to bring another precious girl into our lineage."
Instagram/Rumer Willis
"One of the first things I said after you were born was 'oh my girl, I missed you,'" Rumer revealed in a May 2023 Instagram post. "I feel like i have always known you and you me. You are the most beautiful creature I have ever met."
The actress added, "Every moment and contraction and every bit of the pain of birth was worth it and I would do it a thousand times over if it means getting to spend one sec with you."
Parents
"I am so grateful to have you in my life and our daughters life," Rumer captioned a birthday post for Thomas in 2023, a year before their breakup. "You are such a great dad and our girl is so lucky to call you papa."
Rumer paid tribute to her dad on Father's Day 2023, writing that seeing the Die Hard actor—who was diagnosed with frontotemporal dementia earlier this year—hold his first grandchild as "something I will treasure for the rest of my life."
"His sweetness and love for her was so pure and beautiful," Rumer shared of Bruce. "Papa I'm so lucky to have you and so is Lou. Thank you for being the silliest, most loving, coolest Daddio a girl could ask for."
Instagram/Rumer Willis
In an August 2023 post, Rumer listed several life happenings that had brought her joy lately, including putting "tiny bows in tiny hairs," the "most precious toe buttons" and "mini naps with mini hands."
Instagram/Rumer Willis
Just days before her 35th birthday, Rumer posed nude in an Instagram photo, reflecting on her body image in the caption.
Sharing that she had spent "so many years trying to shape and mold" her body into something she "thought was desirable," the Dancing With the Stars champion celebrated that she is "a little softer and rounder and jiggly and different" after giving birth.
"That's ok, more than ok it's kind of amazing because I grew a person inside of it," she wrote. "I know my body is still readjusting, but whatever shape it ends up in I am just grateful for all that it did and continues to do."
Acknowledging her "ongoing process of transformation," Rumer explained that she was "grateful for every twist and turn" of her postpartum journey.
"My breasts, might be bigger and perhaps ever so drifting downward but what a gift and privilege that they can feed and provide nourishment for my Lou," she wrote. "They also make a fantastic pillow while we cosleep. My hips and tummy, now softer and rounder, cradle my daughter in safety, warmth, and love."
Instagram/Rumer Willis
Rumer marked her 35th birthday by sharing a photo of herself breastfeeding Lou, writing on Instagram, "This past year has come with so much growth, so many challenges and fears to overcome but right along side more joy than I could ever imagine. I truly learned what it is to surrender into the deepest core of myself and find a strength and a primal power I didn't know I had."
"This new version of me is someone I love more than I ever thought I could. I feel more comfortable in my skin," she continued. "More confident than I ever imagined. I have known for so many years that being a mother would bring me into alignment with a divine purpose I have always felt and to known that my intuition was right has given me a trust within myself that I am so deeply grateful for."
Ups & Downs
Of course, parenthood comes with challenges, too. And in October 2023, Rumer reflected on how she and Lou got the flu.
"It brought not just symptoms but moments of doubt," she wrote on Instagram. "Could I manage taking care of her and myself in this weakened state? But in that storm of uncertainty, we discovered an uncharted strength within ourselves. The resilience I summoned in the face of a common challenge mothers everywhere deal with truly showed me so much about myself and my capacity. As a parent, you sometimes question your abilities, but that week, as the flu raged on, it became clear that I was more capable than I ever thought. That I could be her safe place and I could hold the container for both of us."
Through that experience, Rumer continued, she learned "how much stronger I am than ever I thought I was."
"Navigating through her fever was hard to watch but we made it through fueled by love, determination, and the proper nutritional and supplement support I'm fortunate to have," she added in part of her post. "It's a support that is needed by many. I also realized the importance of giving myself grace. As we all should as mothers."
Rumer Willis / Instagram
Loving Her "Mama Curves"
In April 2024, Rumer shared how her relationship with her body has changed and how she's "leaning in to my mama curves ."
"It’s been a journey of continuous curiosity and growth to see how much room and acceptance I can give my body as it continues to shift and transform after birthing a little human," she wrote on Instagram. "I hope to continue feeling in my loving of myself in all the many shapes and sizes it will come in so I can show my daughter what unconditional self love and acceptance looks like."
Moments That Shine
"This little sunshine of mine is truly the most magical being I have ever met," Rumer wrote on Instagram in April 2024. "Everyday she surprises me with the depth of love and sweetness she is capable of at such a young age. She wakes me up every morning with a hug and a kiss and holds me tight. She knows how to communicate with such clarity even without many words."
She also said Louetta learns things quickly, citing how Scout "taught her to blow kisses and by the end of the day she was doing it all on her own."
"This kid is a magical creature and it’s impossible not to fall completely in love with her," Rumer added. "Ask anyone who meets her. My sweet girl what a privilege it is to be loved by you. I feel so honored you chose me. I love you Lou."
Rumer Willis, Instagram
First Birthday
Rumer celebrated a major milestone with Louetta's first birthday in April 2024.
"Oh my tiny tender daughter, I CANT BELIEVE YOU ARE 1," she wrote on Instagram. "This last year with you has been the best year of my life. Lou I have never known a love like yours. You are the most delicious, most beautiful, smartest, funniest, sweetest girl I know. I can’t believe you choose me to be your mama oh my goodness. Every day you grow and learn more and you are my greatest teacher and my deepest love."
In the post, Rumer shared a series of snapshots of Lou with friends and family.
"You are a gift to every one you meet and your smile is almost blinding it’s so magical," she added. "Your laugh is my favorite sound in the whole wide world. Your tiny kisses are the best thing to wake up to. I love you so deep in my bones my tiny daughter. I can’t wait to see what this next year brings!!"
She then gave a shout-out to Demi for "being the best Ya Ya I could ask for" as well as to Scout, Tallulah and younger sisters Mabel and Evelyn—whom dad Bruce shares with wife Emma Heming Willis—for "being the greatest aunties." In addition, she thanked Emma for "being bonus Gma" as well as Bruce and Eric Buterbaugh "for being the best Papous."
Motherhood Journey
A little more than a year after giving birth, Rumer reflected on her path to parenthood and experience so far with being a mom.
"Oh my girl. Being your mama is the greatest hurt in the whole entire world," she wrote on Instagram in May 2024. "You are my everything. Becoming a mother has been the portal I always knew it was and yet so much more than I ever imagined. Growing you in my belly and watching you grow this last year has been the privilege of my life my tiny tender, strong, hilarious, fiery, wild child you and the sweetest most loving being I have ever known."
"It is such a gift to be loved by you and I know I’m not the only one who feels it," she added. "Everyone who meets you [is] complete taken with you and can’t believe how magic you are. I know there can be moments that are challenging but somehow with you they never too hard. I’m never to tired hold you or kiss you or comfort you. You will always be my baby. And what a joy it’s been already to see you grow."
Rumer also shared some of her most cherished moments.
"Every day with you is so fun and wonderful," the Once Upon a Time...in Hollywood alum wrote. "I love your singing and silly faces and scrunched nose when you smell flowers. You are my bestest little friend and truly the love of my lifeLouetta Isley you are a [star]. Love you always Mama."
Precious Pics
In a sweet May 2024 post, Rumer called Louetta "My whole heart…"
Family Vacations
The mother-daughter duo took a big trip to the Big Apple with Rumer's mom Demi in June 2024.
"Rediscovering some of my favorite places in my childhood with Lou was a dream come true," Rumer wrote on Instagram alongside photos from their New York getaway. "We went to the Natural History Museum, took her first real steps in Central Park, tried French fries for the first time and was great at sharing. Took long late night walks, had the best meal of my life @elevenmadisonpark. Had a real life affirming and life changing week of shows at the @cafecarlyle It was a magical trip, I'm so grateful."
Making Memories
Indeed, she's soaking in all the special moments with her daughter. As Rumer captioned a July 2024 post, "My baby girl walking through the grass in my hometown with my family is the manifestation of everything I’ve ever dreamed of."
Juggling It All
The summer of 2024 was also when Rumer started filming the movie Broken Trail, and she shared what it was like to have Louetta visit her on set.
"Man, I love my little Lou," she wrote on Instagram that July. "You can tell she is a Willis cause when she came to visit mama on set and I was covered in blood she didn’t even flinch, she just reached out her arms and grabbed me tight and gave me a big ole smooch."
"The privilege of having a job that allows me to have my daughter with me in some thing I don’t take for granted," Rumer added, "and I feel so grateful to the support system that I have here that allows me to show up and do the best job I can do and on top of that to have such a full circle moment of having @nannymadison who took care of me while my mom and dad are on set be the one to be helping me with Lou is such a gift."
Breastfeeding
In August 2024, Rumer celebrated World Breastfeeding Week.
"I feel so grateful that our journey has been so incredible," she wrote alongside photos of her feeding Louetta. "Breastfeeding has been one of the most joyful and bonding experiences of my life with Lou, who is still nursing at 16 months. I don’t know when we will stop but I am sure we will figure it out together."
"This journey has been filled with ease and grace, and I feel incredibly privileged because I know this isn’t the case for everyone," Rumer continued in part of her message. "What matters deeply to me is creating a space to support women on their breastfeeding journey, so all can experience the joy and connection it brings."
Emma McIntyre/Getty Images for The Retaility
No Mommy Shaming
After receiving criticism for promoting a sex toy company on social media, Rumer addressed any shamers.
"What I think is really interesting, that I wanted to bring up, is that a lot of the comments I was seeing were, 'Oh my God, you're a mother,'" she said in an August Instagram Stories video. "'Don't be showing such intimate moments. First, you're breastfeeding, and now this.'"
"We're in a culture where it's so frowned upon to feed our children in public, or to talk about female pleasure, talk about female sexuality," she added. "Just the idea of even posting about something or having some sort of casual off-the-cuff conversation about it—the reaction is visceral from people."
Instead, Rumer emphasized the importance of having these conversations to "be able to remove some of the shame around it."
"As someone who now has a daughter, the idea of putting any sort of shame or making her sexual self-discovery—putting any taboo around that—I think is despicable," she shared. "I want Lou to be able to love her body, to be able to share it or not share it with whoever she wants."
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