For this month’s installment of Oh, Behave!, Vogue turned to three women who know Madison Square Garden from very different vantage points. Martha Stewart, whose courtside seat has become nearly as recognizable as the players on the floor, weighed in as the grande dame of Knicks fandom, offering practical advice drawn from personal experience—including the cautionary tale of a broken toe courtesy of Jalen Brunson.

Jordyn Woods, meanwhile, has emerged as an unlikely postseason lucky charm thanks to the bright orange handbag she carries to games—a bag so closely associated with the team’s success that fans now track its appearances with near-superstitious devotion.

And then there’s Cazzie David, whose New York basketball credentials run deep despite her insistence that she’s hardly a sports fan at all. Named after Knicks legend Cazzie Russell and daughter of Larry David—whose infamous Curb Your Enthusiasm courtside collision with Shaquille O’Neal got many of us thinking about basketball etiquette long before this year’s playoffs—David, who published a collection of essays earlier this year, brought the perspective of a reluctant but highly observant participant.

Here, read all their tips on how to enjoy a Knicks game while maintaining a little decorum.

Vogue: Is there a proper dress code for courtside seats?

Martha Stewart: Well, closed-toed shoes are pretty important, and covered legs are good. Closed-toed shoes to prevent getting the Jalen Brunson fracture, which I suffered last year.
He stepped on my toe and broke it. I was wearing beautiful, Clergerie open-toe, gold sandals. Very stupid. But if I had worn iron-toed shoes, I don’t know if that would've prevented him from crushing my toe because he came down with a tremendous amount of force.

Cazzie David: I was actually named after a Knicks player. Couldn’t be less of a sports fan. Truly. But I could be much more annoying than I am about it. I don’t want to tell anyone what they should wear, but I do think that one Knicks piece feels good. I don’t know if it should be, like, a Halloween party.

Jordyn Woods: In New York City, I feel like everyone’s way more casual than I expect them to be. It’s more like a T-shirt, jeans, tank top, and a fun jacket. You can get away with doing whatever you want in New York, but people are really there for the game. Not as much to be seen. When you go to a Lakers game, people are wearing short dresses and skirts.

Do you have to wear Knicks merch to a Knicks game?

Stewart: I don’t really own any Knicks gear. Well, I do now because I’ve been sent stuff. I have size 15-and-a-half OG Anunoby sneakers—he sent me a pair. And those T-shirts they throw around during halftime—they shoot them into the audience, you know? They always give me a couple. I always take them home for the guys who work on the farm. They all love them.

David: I wonder if maybe even your attire should match how big of a fan you are. Like, I don’t know if you should be in full attire unless you’re a legitimate fan. I saw someone from Australia on my feed in full head-to-toe merch. That I found to be very offensive.

Woods: Do you have to? No. Is it encouraged? I at least try to wear Knicks colors, but it changes. My orange bag is getting so much attention—it’s amazing because it is my brand—but it also feels like a lot of pressure! Everyone kind of made it this phenomenon. And to be fair, we have won every game it’s been at except the Trump game, because I wasn’t able to bring my bag in, so I see why the phenomenon is there. But before Wednesday’s game, I saw three different big articles about my lucky bag! I’m like, this is a lot of pressure!

Is it acceptable to wear the opposing team’s jersey to a home game at Madison Square Garden?

Stewart: If you were given courtside tickets by the home team, you do not wear an opposing team’s outfit. My grandson—who is not a Knicks fan, but I'm trying to convert him; he’s 14—is not allowed to wear anything but neutral colors.

David: I don’t know who would be crazy enough to do that. Again, I think people should wear what they want, but if you're a legitimate fan of the other side, I mean, good luck to you. I don’t know how you’re making it out of that stadium alive.

Woods: Honestly, if you’re courtside, I think it’s actually prohibited? But I have some friends on opposing teams that come to games, and I feel like it’d be wrong to tell them that they couldn’t wear their husband’s number or jersey. So I think it’s very circumstantial, but if you’re coming to support the Knicks, you need to wear something Knicks.

Should children be allowed courtside, or is it an adults-only privilege?

Stewart: Yes, I think so because they are some of the most avid fans. Us old-timers, we can sit in the second row.

David: I guess it depends on the kid—and they should probably go through a series of tests. We should know how annoying of a kid they are and how much they deserve to be there—which, probably, they don't.

Woods: I don’t have my own children, so I can’t really say if I would let them sit courtside or not. As long as your kids are well-behaved and you’re willing to jump in front of the ball or the person flying at them, then I think it’s fine. Maybe like over six or seven is good—I just get worried if they’re too little because anything could happen. The first game my sister ever went to at MSG, when Karl first got traded here, she had just bought these brand new studded Balenciaga boots. She was so excited, and Josh Hart landed on the boot and hit off the studs, and she was devastated.

How should you arrange your legs sitting courtside?

Stewart: If you’re sitting courtside, the seats are extremely uncomfortable… so anybody who is so envious of all of us sitting on those seats, they are like baby chairs squashed together. I sat next to Karl-Anthony Towns’s father and Karl-Anthony’s fiancée the other night. So I was sitting on like a quarter of a seat. It was very funny. He was charming.

David: I do think you should only be allowed to get one drink because your drink has to go in between your legs—so if you’re getting multiple drinks, your legs are spreading out more. Self-awareness really doesn’t hurt the situation. And the more drinks you have, the more scared you should be that one of them could spill. You really don’t want someone mopping up after you—I can’t think of anything more humiliating.

Woods: The manspread is terrible. I sit next to Karl’s dad, who is also very tall, so I’m used to being a little smushed. Some people can’t help their size, but some people spread out without having anyone else in mind, and that’s a little crazy.

Is manspreading ever ok? Should you ask your neighbor to adjust themselves if they’re taking up too much space?

Stewart: Absolutely not. You’re privileged to sit in that front row, and fathers and parents of players come first. You’re just there by the grace of God.

David: I never really ask anyone for anything. I spend the whole time kind of like glaring at them and maybe passive-aggressively opening my legs more and maybe even hitting them “accidentally.” They usually don't get the point, but as many times as I can look over and like roll my eyes and hope that they get what I'm trying to say is kind of how I would approach it. And then I’ll just spend the entire game angry about the leg situation and not be able to enjoy myself.

Woods: I think you definitely can ask your neighbor to adjust themselves as long as it’s in a respectful way. And manspreading? It’s okay if you have two seats.

When is an appropriate time to get a snack or drink? And what about refills?

Stewart: When you’re a VIP, they have a waitress who comes around and asks for your order. You don’t have to go down to the fancy clubhouse if you don’t want to. I usually go to the clubhouse prior to a game; during the game, I never go down. I only drink water during a game anyway.

David: Halftime. I mean, there was obviously that woman who went viral for eating lasagna courtside—you can’t be eating a meal. I mean maybe a protein bar, but eat it quickly because you don’t wanna be caught on camera.

Woods: Whenever you’re hungry or thirsty! But if you are sitting courtside, you can ask the girl for a drink, and they’ll bring it to you. I try to limit myself from getting up from the game, I try to do it when it’s a timeout or a halftime.

Is any food off-limits in the first row?

Stewart: It doesn’t matter. People are not gorging themselves in the front row. I haven’t seen any bad gorging.

David: I think mainly any food that you can’t eat in a matter of 20 seconds, 30 seconds. A minute. Anything longer, I think, don’t be eating.

Woods: I’ve seen people with a whole plate of food, like a gourmet meal. I’ve seen people eat hot dogs, pretzels, fries, and everything. I’m a little shy about eating on the court, but I am not the courtside police, so whatever people really want to do is on them! The worst thing is when people get too drunk. It’s fun to get drunk, but just don’t get sloppy.

What should you do with your feet when the court is being mopped of sweat?

Stewart: You lift them up; they come up to your chin. That’s why you wear pants.

Woods: I mean, get out of the way. Put ’em in the air. Whatever you gotta do.

If you’re shown on the Jumbotron, what is the correct reaction?

Stewart: If you’re on the Jumbotron, the correct action is to make some sign like a heart, or a victory, a clap, or a thumbs up. But you do just want to be as effusive as possible. The other night, I blew a kiss.

David: I think it depends how many people have gone before you and what they’ve done. If every single person has done the same thing, I think it’s on you to change it up a little bit. Fortunately, I was not [recently] on the Jumbotron. I was next to my dad and definitely made sure I was out of frame… he definitely tried to make a heart with his hands.

Woods: Just show enthusiasm. Try to hype up for your team, but be yourself.

If you’re not interested in basketball, should you ever sit courtside?

Stewart: If you go as a guest, you don’t have to be interested. Don’t ever admit that, though!

David: I think you can date into being a fan or marry into being a fan. I feel strongly about that, but if you are not from New York City and you aren’t a longstanding fan, the finals can’t be your first game attended of the season. Especially where you’re taking seats from lifelong fans.

Woods: I mean, to be honest, why wouldn’t you? I’ve seen a lot of people who don’t care about basketball get invested in the Knicks because the energy there is so unreal. Our games give us all many heart attacks. I have people texting me like, “So where do I invoice my therapy?” If you have the opportunity, you definitely should take it!

Is it rude to spend time on your phone during a game?

Stewart: Everybody’s taking pictures! Everybody has a phone in hand. I took plenty of pictures. I took pictures of OJ’s sneakers the other night, and as a result, I got a pair. Did I say OJ? God. You know what I meant. Jesus Christ. Shows you what era I’m from! But the next day, I got a box, a beautiful gift box of size 15 and a half, Skechers from OG. Signed. Which are now worth a fortune after Wednesday night’s behavior!

David: I think it should be like seeing a play. You’re seeing Death of a Salesman. You’re cultured. You can take a picture of your Playbill. We get it. But that's it. So for the Knicks, take your picture of your ’90s vintage Knicks tee—that’s really all I’d like to see. If you’re not a legitimate fan, and not from New York, I really don’t want to have to open my phone and see a hundred reposts of a video of the same shot we’ve already seen a hundred times because you are just desperate to feel involved.

Woods: There was a certain person I saw. I don’t want to call anyone out, but he was on his phone the whole game. He came to game three, and people were roasting him all on social media for being on his phone the whole game. If you want to be on your phone, you should not get a courtside seat.

Are you obligated to introduce yourself to your fellow courtside spectators?

Stewart: Of course! Everybody should know who everybody is. If you don’t know somebody, say, “Oh, who are you?” You know, be friendly. Karl-Anthony’s fiancée is so beautiful, and I said hi to her.

David: I’m not bothering anyone with an introduction of myself. Even if they ask me, “Who are you?” I think I’d say it doesn't matter. Just feel free to move on.

Woods: I think it’s a nice thing to do. We're sharing this memory together, and we’re sitting so close, nearly arm to arm. You should introduce yourself.

Is there a polite way to ask someone famous for a photo at a game?

Stewart: Everybody’s asking everybody for photos. Timothée Chalamet is taking pictures of himself with everybody. It’s part of the fun.

David: It’s such a spectacle. I think that if you're going to ask someone for a photo, that’s a good place to do it because they already know they're on camera 24/7 and they’re in the mode to be taking pics.

Woods: I think if there’s a break in the game, it’s right, but not when they’re trying to watch the game. I definitely asked Martha Stewart for a photo, by the way. I was like, “Martha, I never ask people for pictures, but I need a photo!” I don't even think I posted it. I just have it for my memories.

How enthusiastic is too enthusiastic when cheering for your team?

Stewart: There’s no limit, especially with what’s going on now. There is no limit to showing enthusiasm.

David: I think be happy, but there’s no reason that someone who is from LA who isn’t a legitimate fan should be acting as happy as someone like Spike Lee. There’s no reason to be like drawing attention to yourself. I mean, there’s a reason Mariska Hargitay gets to hug Brunson after every game—she’s a legitimate fan and is allowed to draw that kind of attention.

Woods: There are no limits. As long as you're respectful, there are no limits.

Is it acceptable to boo the opposing team—or should fans keep it classy?

Stewart: If it’s really bad offense, yeah. I think it’s okay.

David: I don’t like it personally. It’s only acceptable to boo Trump.

Woods: When they’re at the free-throw line? Definitely! Yeah. I did it last night, and he missed those. So it worked. It might be my new thing!

If the game is a blowout, is leaving early a betrayal of the team?

Stewart: I try never to leave a game early. I find it improper and impolite.

David: You have to stick it out.

Woods: We were getting blown out the whole game, and we came back and won. I didn’t see anyone leave. We all had faith, and it really motivates your team when you stay and cheer for them, even when things aren’t necessarily going their way. So my recommendation is don’t leave. You never know what’s gonna happen!

What’s the most unforgivable courtside offense?

Stewart: Don’t interfere with the game in any way. And don’t be unsportsmanlike. You’re a spectator. You are not an umpire, and you are not a judge. You can have your own opinion, but don't take it out on the court.

Woods: There’s a lot. Don’t walk on the court. Don’t throw anything on the court. Don’t say derogatory comments to the players. Like people say, “You suck!” all the time. Okay, cool. But once you start being specific and talking about people, I think there’s a limit.

David: There is a lot of celebrity moth behavior. You know, it’s not the Met Gala after-party. Don’t just go because you think it’s the cool place to be that night. I think just a lack of self-awareness is the biggest offense.