There’s going to be a whole lot of sweaty physicality going down for the upcoming US semiquincentennial — a UFC fight at the White House, for one (on June 14, POTUS’s 80th birthday), but also weddings!

Gobs and gobs of weddings.

If you prefer a circular shiny ring to the bloody octagonal kind, read on for historic venues to make a more perfect union (yeah, that’s from the Constitution, not the Declaration of Independence, but just go with it, you fact-loving Ken Burns fanboys and girls).

South Carolina

I never thought the Palmetto State could get any more romantic than when I flew into Myrtle Beach on the just-launched Hooters Air in 2003. That now-defunct, #MeToo-fueled airline lasted all of three years (2½ more than expected). Owl egg on my face!

But love remains eternal in the Low Country, where the Sea Islands lie, as does the vast 1,600-acre Wild Dunes Resort on the Isle of Palms, right near Sullivan’s Island — the site of one of the Revolutionary War’s pivotal battles where the Americans gave the redcoats the L in June 1776.

“Let our proposal specialists set everything up for you so all you have to do is ask, and all your significant other has to do is say yes!” said Jena Clem, founder of Propose Charleston, which tag-teams with the resort. “This engagement planning experience is designed to be seamless, and Wild Dunes Resort is the perfect setting for a dream proposal.”

Assuming that answer goes the Yes route, the wedding staffers at the retreat have curated a number of spots for the main event, offering intimate oceanfront beach ceremonies, palmetto-lined lawn receptions, chic poolside affairs, and even golf course and ballroom blowouts.

The “crown jewel” is the Indigo Room & Rooftop Terrace, a sunlit sanctuary with coastal views and an open-air terrace to dance ’neath the star-sprinkled night sky. They can also handle all of the rehearsal dinners, bridal luncheons, farewell brunches, and crazed bachelor and bachelorette shenanigans.

Piggybacking on this sentiment is Sarah Ramaker, the social event planning manager at Wild Dunes. “Every wedding I plan is deeply personal to me. I take the time to truly get to know each couple so I can care for them in a way that feels thoughtful, seamless, and meaningful. From the smallest details to the most important moments, my goal is to ensure they feel supported, celebrated, and completely at ease throughout their entire experience at Wild Dunes Resort.”

As she put it, “planning a wedding goes far beyond logistics.” It’s about building trust and creating a truly personalized experience. “I strive to understand each couple’s story so I can support them with attentiveness, compassion, and thoughtful details that make them feel genuinely cared for from start to finish.”

South Carolina hosted more than 400 battles during the Revolution; you can find 100 times that in the form of 250th anniversary-themed parties and historic sights this summer, especially during its Carolina Days fest, June 27 to July 5.

Just 45 minutes away in Charleston is what’s literally (and fittingly) filled with balls and chains: Old Exchange & Provost Dungeon. The 255-year-old prison-turned-museum offers tours of the chilling cells where the British held American POWs. It’s now animatronic-free and human-guided — take that, AI! From $16.

New York

No shirt? No shoes? No head? No problem, apparently, in lore-loving Sleepy Hollow, NY. The Old Dutch Church, located in Westchester County’s quaint village, dates back to 1685. Built by Frederick Philipse, it is considered the oldest church and cemetery in the Empire State. And it’s quite haunted.

It features a wooden pulpit and sounding-board canopy, and served as a stop for George Washington and his troops en route to meet Comte de Rochambeau and the French troops.

It’s likewise tied to Washington Irving’s “The Legend of Sleepy Hollow,” as both the church and its 3 acres of grounds cameoed in the story.

It so happens to also be along the American Revolutionary Trail, where, in White Plains, the Declaration of Independence was first read on July 11, 1776.

The church hosts weddings from April through September — if you have the nerve.

Virginia

Weddings are nothing more than feathered, ornithological cosplay: The groom is like a penguin; the bride is a swan; the bridesmaids represent drunken ugly ducklings; the groomsmen are even uglier, drunker dodos. And no one does cosplay like Colonial Williamsburg, a living history museum where reenactors walk it and talk it like it was in colonial times. The historic architecture and food chefs play along, as well, and Revolutionary City, as it’s keen to be called, might just be the perfect spot to get hitched.

“Couples planning a wedding at Colonial Williamsburg Resorts for America’s 250th can expect an experience that feels both meaningful and distinctly personal, with immersive moments of our history woven in through moments, rather than formality,” Laura Gray, director of catering and conference services, said.

“Couples often host dinners in the same spaces once frequented by figures like George Washington.”

Laura Gray, director of catering and conference services in CW

“There are touches that are unique to us as a destination, like a Champagne toast given by Thomas Jefferson or the unmistakable sound of the Fifes & Drums guiding everyone from cocktail hour into the reception space,” she added. “Couples often host dinners in the same spaces once frequented by figures like George Washington, which adds a layer of meaning around a memorable event.”

Choose to have the ceremony at their Palace Gardens in the heart of the historic area or the very regal and elegant Regency Room at the Williamsburg Inn. They have spaces that can accommodate between 200 and 600 guests.

They’re even offering a Founding Love, 250th-themed wedding package featuring a two-night stay in a historic colonial house, a horse-drawn carriage arrival for the couple, a free bubbly toast for up to 50 guests, a personalized keepsake engraved with your wedding date and the official CW250 seal and (not a typo) a complimentary anniversary stay and dinner for two each year, for the rest of your marriage, optimists that they are.

Rhode Island

Itching to celebrate your biggest day in the country’s smallest state? You’re among good company: Rhode Island is where I dos were exchanged between John and Jackie Kennedy; Jennifer Lawrence and Cooke Maroney; and, more recently, Olivia Culpo and Christian McCaffrey. Whispers of an American royal getting hitched here this summer (hmmm . . .) are very much in the air.

But where? Skip Newport’s downtown, purdy as it is, and head for beachy, breezy five-star locations — all wedding hot spots. There’s Ocean House in Watch Hill, Weekapaug Inn in nearby Westerly, and Castle Hill Inn, which is technically in Newport, but spiritually, it’s blissfully on its lonesome sitting on a 40-acre peninsula a galaxy away.

For those looking for 250th-palooza, you’re going to want to venture into the heart of the state’s “big” cities.

The Newport Historical Society’s “Occupied! Newport and the Fight for Independence” exhibit examines the city’s three occupations during the Revolutionary War. Newport Preservation Society’s America 250 and Beyond: Perspectives from Preservation Leaders is a panel discussion featuring preservation leaders. The Historic Music of Newport is putting on a Gilded Age Orchestra: Celebrate America 250 concert, a tribute including music first performed during Newport’s 1876 Centennial celebration. The Bristol Fourth of July Parade — America’s oldest continuously celebrated Independence Day parade — will be a once-in-a-generation (end of the alphabet, Greek, or otherwise) patriotic experience.

Historic Boston

Cruise liner Oceania doesn’t offer legally binding weddings or vow renewal packages — not really their thing.

But food is, so pretend you’re at a fancy reception dinner, minus the annoying toasting glass-clinking but with equally draconian dress codes.

And just because their captains can’t play priests doesn’t mean couples can’t perform a symbolic ceremony during the cruise or arrange legal marriages in port through local wedding planners.

For the 250th, board the Oceania Vista for an 11-day voyage from New York to Montreal, leaving Oct. 6. It calls on Newport, RI, and Boston, where you’ll find the Freedom Trail, linking more than a dozen historic sites throughout town, from the Paul Revere House to the Old North Church — “all key to America’s founding.”

In Canada — our upstairs neighbor hosted its own turf wars over the centuries, dontcha know — hit the Bay of Fundy, Halifax, and Sydney in Nova Scotia.

The Autumnal Allure voyage starts at $7,599 per person.