Who does the city Rent Guidelines Board thinks it’s fooling by pretending it’s not rushing to make good on Mayor Zohran Mamdani’s “freeze the rent” promises?

Mamdani pretends that freeze for the million or so apartments covered by the state Rent Stabilization laws will enhance affordability and improve New Yorkers’ quality of life, but in fact it will hasten the deterioration of the city’s most vulnerable housing stock and push unprofitable units right off the market.

In the first stage of this dance, the RGB indicated Thursday that it is “prepared” to allow rent hikes in a range from 0% to 2% for one-year renewals, and from 0% to 4% for two-year leases; it’ll be another round or three of pretend-deliberation before it does what the mayor wants.

But the process is already a joke: To get to those ranges, the board had to cook the books, and even completely ignore its own data, which shows that non-optional costs for building owners — fuel, insurance, utilities, taxes and labor — are rising far faster than even its high-end 4% prospective rent limit.

That is: The rents on ever-growing numbers of apartments won’t come close to covering the costs of maintaining those units.

Which means landlords will have to spend less on maintaining those apartments and those buildings.

Some may sell, or lose their buildings through foreclosure or abandonment, go bankrupt so the building gets sold, but any new owners will face the same ugly math.

Ever-more units, ever-more whole buildings, will become unlivable, or controlled by the most unscrupulous sort of slumlords — or perhaps by Mamdani-favored nonprofits that won’t be able to make two plus two equal five.

But the mayor has already appointed a majority of the board, and the rest know how the game is played: Pure politics ensure the RGB will opt for 0% rent hikes, or perhaps 1% if City Hall decides they need to show some “independence.”

By turning what is supposed to be an evidence-based analysis into a politicized spectacle, Mamdani runs the risk of having the US Supreme Court strike down the rent laws entirely.

Owners argue that the system of rent regulation is an illegal “taking” of property without fair compensation, and if the RGB is plain just following the mayor’s orders, the Supremes should agee.

Mamdani’s socialist posturing on other fronts is already driving jobs out of the city; one way or another, its impact on affordable housing will prove every bit as dire.

Whether his RGB games end all rent control, or simply send the affordable-housing market into a death spiral, the folks he claims to want to help will suffer the most.

But, hey, he’ll give the city a ton of really cool YouTube videos along the way.