It’s prettyyyy, prettyyyy, prettyyyy bad. 

Watching Larry David’s unfortunate new HBO tribute to America’s 250th anniversary, “Life, Larry, and the Pursuit of Unhappiness,” made me want to secede.

Because, like Pavlov’s dogs, viewers have been conditioned for decades to roar whenever they so much as see David, the ingenious co-creator of “Seinfeld” and curmudgeonly star of “Curb Your Enthusiasm.”

This time, though, the model for George Costanza is met with total silence. Abruptly, the laugh affair ends with David’s shaky seven-episode series, produced by comedy icons Barack and Michelle Obama.

During the first chapter of “Unhappiness,” which pursues unhappiness all right, I didn’t so much as half smile. Frowned, glowered, scowled, sure. My patriotic anthem: And the critic’s red glare! The jokes bursting on air!    

The show’s shtick is that it plops David and his usually hilarious modern gripes and grievances into major moments in American history: the writing of the Declaration of Independence, the trenches of World War I. 

In one scene, he plays telephone inventor Alexander Graham Bell as he first demonstrates his device. But the chatty guy on the other end, played by Richard Kind, is so annoying that Bell hangs up.

Another imagines Rosa Parks (Jurnee Smollett) on an earlier bus ride than the pivotal one that sparked a movement. She sits next to David’s character Murray, who jabbers on so much that she voluntarily moves to the back to shake him.

The skits are more amusing when described than viewed because a synopsis takes 10 seconds, not five minutes. 

Onscreen, the segments arrive at their obvious destination fast and then linger there far too long — a personal quality that “Curb” Larry would surely not approve of. 

It also does the vignettes no favors that they are all borderline identical and, unlike in a great “Curb” episode, don’t add up to a big payoff.

I can understand why David signed onto this. The series was the brainchild of stand-up-comic legend President Obama. It’s hard to say “no” to a previous commander in chief (who’s embarked on a weird Hollywood career), even when you play a character beloved for saying “no” to pretty much everybody else. 

Also, one of David’s biggest inspirations early in his career was Mel Brooks. Maybe he thought that “Unhappiness” would be his very own “History of the World: Part I.” 

Well, he wound up with something closer to Brooks’ 2023 Hulu show, “History of the World: Part II” — hated by the few people who actually watched it.

How depressing. To my mind, David is just about the funniest man on the planet. This feels like a kidnapping. 

And if he was so intent on making more semi-improvisational TV that takes advantage of his grouchy persona — using the same bits from “Curb,” by the way — he should’ve just made another season of “Curb.” That series’ worst episode is ten times better than this.

David had an unique path to celebrity. He made his fortune with “Seinfeld” behind the scenes and then became famous playing a fictionalized version of himself for an impressive 24 years. In the minds of audiences, he and his TV double have merged. 

So, wherever he goes, he always portrays amped-up “Larry David” — his Bernie Sanders on “Saturday Night Live” was that with hiked-up shoulders — because that’s what he knows and what people want.  

Yet, as his disappointing latest HBO effort proves, Larry’s bitter, picky antics don’t fit in everywhere. Really, I’m convinced 2024’s terrific finale of “Curb” should have marked the end of them.

Alas. 

For David’s sake, let’s hope that “Life, Larry, and the Pursuit of Unhappiness” winds up a footnote in his own history.