Envoy’s exchanging words

Last week, newspapers reported, “Prisoner swap in Eastern Europe frees 10 people, including accused spies.” The story credited “President Trump’s envoy for Belarus, John Coale, who helped negotiate the exchange.”

Insiders — like way inside the White House — they know lawyer John Coale. Me, I know John Coale. It was dinners, evenings, boat rides, his newswoman wife Greta Van Susteren, mutual friends such as journalist Elaine Lafferty. A nonsmoker, conversation included his — and only due to him — late ’90s $368 billion settlement which he himself won from the tobacco industry.

He was special. Smart. A born Democrat, a Trump friend, also a Trump lawyer. Title? Deputy assistant to the president. He became special envoy for Belarus. Smarts made him friendly with Alexander Lukashenko, the country’s leader, since 1994.

Yanks still held

Last week, headlines blared that Coale had negotiated the release of 10 European prisoners. So I asked him how?

Coale: “They still hold two Americans. But what you do is you play on your relationship. It’s with the same people whom over time you already know. Those with whom you have been dealing repeatedly. In their positions, they are not newcomers. And over time they also already get to know you.

“Look, there are 500 political prisoners in Belarus. I got 14 out [last June]. After that is successfully negotiated, we then took them to the border. They were from Russia, Moldova, Poland, Kazakhstan and other parts of Eastern Europe. Some had been incarcerated in maximum security. They were terrified. No idea what was happening. All came out with hands behind their heads. All thought they were about to be executed.

“All spoke English. I said to them, ‘You are free.’ We put them in the van. Hands still behind their heads. We then go to the border. There, the KGB changes the license plate. I said to them, ‘Donald Trump has sent me to free you.’ From execution to freedom, they couldn’t believe what was happening.

“I’m making other trips there. Next time maybe making deals with seven other countries. Look, it’s been a political process. I became friends with the president of Belarus. I mean, one prisoner had won the Nobel Peace Prize. They were high-level resistance people.

“This, the relationship I developed, depended on furthering a real relationship. Not what was a diplomatic experience. But what was becoming what seemed to be a real relationship. Many people do not like this attitude. I understand that. I understand that I used humor. I also understand it helped get these people out.”

His next hope is the release of 73 others imprisoned.

Get your kicks at 100th birthday

Having a birthday soon is Route 66. Although this is not the thing’s exact opening day since it took forever to pave. Give or take a gas station bathroom, we’re talking 2,448 miles. Chicago to Santa Monica, Calif. Established 1926, one of the USA’s original highways. Takes 36 to 40 hours to chug through. It ends at the Santa Monica Pier. But nobody uses it anymore. There’s now highways, tunnels, bridges, rivers, detours and local cops. I just feel badly that it’s being ignored, left out of protests, demonstrations and flat tires — so being patriotic, I’m mentioning it.

SO this bride boiled her eggs a half hour waiting for them to get soft. She then boiled her potatoes for only three minutes and couldn’t understand how they got hard so fast. Word is she’s now on Zero Crapdammy’s staff.

Oy. Only in New York, kids, only in New York.