𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐒𝐭𝐲𝐥𝐞 𝐂𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐬

𝐇𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐭𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐧 𝐚 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐢𝐭𝐲 𝐭𝐞𝐬𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞𝐡𝐨𝐰 𝐞𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐝 𝐮𝐩 𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐫𝐞 𝐢𝐝𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐢𝐭𝐲?

𝐁𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐮𝐬𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐞𝐱𝐚𝐜𝐭𝐥𝐲 𝐰𝐡𝐚𝐭 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐝 𝐭𝐨 𝐦𝐞.

When I first opened the communication style assessment, I thought it would be simple. I thought I would answer a few questions, get my results, and quickly write my speech.

Instead, I ended up taking the assessment three different times.

That probably should have been my first clue about my communication style.

The assessment was difficult because it was not one of those personality quizzes where you simply select “strongly agree” or “strongly disagree.” For every question, I had to choose one word that described me the most, and that gave me cognitive overload.

The more I looked at the questions, the more I realized my communication style has evolved over the years. Different situations bring out different versions of me, so trying to reduce myself to one word felt almost impossible.

One of the first questions asked how others would describe me: gentle, fun-loving, results-oriented, or disciplined.

I stared at the screen for a long time because all of them felt true.

If you meet me while I’m traveling, making videos, attending conferences, or laughing with friends at a meetup, you would probably describe me as fun-loving. I genuinely enjoy experiences, meeting people from different backgrounds, and collecting memories through conversations and adventures.

But another side of me is very disciplined. That is the version of me that studies late at night for certifications, balances Toastmasters leadership with work and networking events, and joins intensive cohort programs while managing everything else happening in life.

Then there is the results-oriented side of me. Years ago, I made the decision to leave everything familiar behind and move thousands of miles across continents to pursue a completely different future. At the time, I had no idea how things would turn out. There was no guarantee of success, just hope, uncertainty, and the willingness to take a chance on myself.

As I continued through the assessment, the questions became even harder.

Another question asked how I like my appearance to be: formal, casual, stylish, or business-like.

Again, I struggled to choose one answer because my style changes depending on the environment. I enjoy dressing professionally at networking events and conferences, but I also enjoy creativity and fashion. I participated in a nonprofit fashion show, modeled, and even appeared in a magazine.

At one point I remember thinking, “Which version of me is this assessment asking about?”

Then came the question about support:
Do I want support for my goals, ideas, feelings, or thoughts?

I wanted to choose all of them.

Because as human beings, we want people to believe in our goals, understand our ideas, respect our feelings, and value our thoughts.

By the second time I took the assessment, I was still struggling enough that I ended up completing it with my mentor, Jen.

Looking back, that became one of the most meaningful parts of this experience.

As we went through the questions together, she helped me stop overanalyzing every word and instead focus on patterns in my behavior. She helped me think less about who I am in one moment and more about who I consistently become across different situations.

Then we reached the question asking how others may perceive me negatively.

The choices included indecisive, perfectionist, impulsive, and strong-willed.

I immediately laughed because I could relate to more than one.

I can absolutely be a perfectionist, especially in software engineering. I like clarity, structure, and understanding requirements before starting work.

Unfortunately, technology rarely works that way.

Requirements change. Information is incomplete. Sometimes you have to move forward before everything is fully figured out.

At the same time, I can also be indecisive in everyday life. Shopping is probably the best example. I can spend so much time comparing options that eventually I get tired and leave without buying anything at all.

When I took the assessment the third time, the results finally felt more balanced.

𝐒𝐮𝐩𝐩𝐨𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞 was my highest score with a 5.
𝐈𝐧𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 came next with a 4.
𝐃𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐭 was 2.
And 𝐀𝐧𝐚𝐥𝐲𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐥 was 1.

But I still felt like my analytical side was higher than the results showed.

Because one of my favorite questions to ask is:

𝐖𝐡𝐲?

I naturally want to understand the deeper reason behind things. I like understanding root causes instead of only fixing surface problems.

While reflecting on my results, I realized something else too.

𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐝𝐢𝐫𝐞𝐜𝐭 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐚𝐬𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐞.

That was probably the hardest part of the assessment for me because I naturally lean toward being supportive and understanding. I care about harmony, relationships, and how people feel.

But in the field I work in, being direct matters.

There are moments where clarity matters more than comfort. Moments where decisions need to be made confidently. Moments where communication needs to be assertive, especially in leadership and problem-solving situations.

That is when this speech stopped being just about a communication style assessment.

𝐈𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐜𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐚 𝐫𝐞𝐟𝐥𝐞𝐜𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐨𝐧 𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐭𝐡.

The assessment helped me recognize both my strengths and the areas where I still want to improve.

At the end of all three assessments, one thing stayed consistent: my supportive side.

That result made sense to me because I value relationships deeply. I care about people, I enjoy encouraging others, and I try to contribute wherever I can.

So here I am, giving a speech about communication styles while still learning how to fully define my own.

𝐌𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐞 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐮𝐧𝐢𝐜𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐬𝐭𝐲𝐥𝐞 𝐜𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐢𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐧𝐨𝐭 𝐜𝐨𝐧𝐟𝐮𝐬𝐢𝐨𝐧.

𝐌𝐚𝐲𝐛𝐞 𝐢𝐭 𝐢𝐬 𝐬𝐞𝐥𝐟 𝐚𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐞𝐧𝐞𝐬𝐬 𝐡𝐚𝐩𝐩𝐞𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐢𝐧 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐥 𝐭𝐢𝐦𝐞.

Because once you truly understand yourself, you also begin to see where you still want to grow.

And for me, that growth starts with becoming more direct, more confident, and more willing to speak with clarity.