A practical approach to performance anxiety, confidence, and staying steady when pressure rises

Lauren Bonvini is a Seattle-based stage fright coach who helps performers, speakers, and creatives work through performance anxiety and build confidence, presence, and self-trust.

Performance anxiety can make a familiar moment feel suddenly difficult. A person may know what they want to say, understand their message, and care deeply about communicating it clearly, yet still feel tension rise as soon as attention turns toward them. Speaking in front of others, performing, presenting ideas, or being seen in an important moment can bring up pressure that feels much larger than the situation itself.

This is one reason stage fright can feel so frustrating. It often affects people who are thoughtful, prepared, and capable. The issue is not always a lack of skill. More often, it is the way pressure changes how someone experiences their own ability in the moment.

The good news is that performance anxiety can become more manageable. The goal is not to erase every nerve or become completely fearless. The goal is to build a steadier relationship with pressure so that anxiety no longer controls the entire experience.

Why Performance Anxiety Feels So Strong

Performance anxiety is often connected to visibility. When someone is being watched, heard, or evaluated, the mind and body can interpret that situation as risky, even when there is no real danger.

That response can include:

• faster breathing
• increased heart rate
• muscle tension
• difficulty focusing
• a shaky voice
• racing thoughts

At the same time, the mind may begin asking fear-based questions:

• What if I mess up?
• What if I freeze?
• What if people judge me?
• What if I cannot recover?

This combination of physical activation and anxious thinking can make even simple communication feel difficult. A person may still have the same skills and knowledge, but anxiety interferes with access to them.

Understanding this matters because anxiety is not the same as inability. Performance anxiety can affect how someone feels in the moment, but it does not define what they are capable of doing.

Confidence Does Not Have to Come First

Many people believe they need to feel confident before they can speak, perform, or share their ideas. They wait for calm to arrive. They wait for certainty. They wait for the feeling that they are finally ready.

But confidence often develops through action, not before it.

A person becomes more confident by having experiences that show them they can handle pressure. They build self-trust by speaking, practicing, recovering, and trying again. Confidence grows when the mind and body begin to learn that discomfort does not have to stop the moment.

This is why small steps can be so important. A person does not always need one major breakthrough. Sometimes progress starts with one question asked out loud, one short practice run, one meeting contribution, or one moment of staying present instead of pulling away.

A Practical Way to Reduce the Pressure

A practical approach to stage fright focuses on what can be done before, during, and after the moment.

Prepare for clarity

Preparation should create direction, not pressure. Instead of trying to memorize every word, focus on the main message, the structure of what you want to say, and the points that matter most.

Clear preparation gives the mind something steady to return to. It also allows for more flexibility if the moment does not go exactly as planned.

Shift attention outward
Performance anxiety often becomes stronger when attention turns inward. A person starts monitoring how they sound, how they look, whether they seem nervous, and whether they are doing everything correctly.

That self-monitoring adds pressure.

A more useful focus is outward:

• What do I want to communicate?
• What matters most here?
• How can I connect clearly?

This shift helps bring attention back to communication instead of self-protection.

Support the body

Because anxiety is physical, the body needs support too. Slowing the breath, relaxing the shoulders, softening the jaw, and feeling grounded through the feet can all help reduce the intensity of the stress response.

These actions do not have to eliminate anxiety completely. They only need to make the moment more manageable.

Reframe what anxiety means

Anxiety often feels like proof that something is wrong. But in many cases, it simply means the moment matters. It means there is visibility, pressure, or emotional importance attached to what is happening.

When anxiety is seen as activation rather than failure, it becomes easier to work with.

Why Small Wins Matter

Small wins are powerful because they create evidence. Every time someone speaks up, practices, presents, or performs in a manageable way, they give themselves proof that pressure can be handled.

Those experiences begin to change the story.
Instead of:
“I cannot do this.”
The story becomes:
“I can feel nervous and still continue.”
Instead of:
“I have to be perfect.”
The story becomes:
“I can recover and keep going.”
Over time, those small wins build self-trust. And self-trust is the foundation of lasting confidence.
For a related article on building confidence through a practical approach to stage fright, visit:
Lauren Bonvini on Building Confidence Through a More Practical Approach to Stage Fright

Letting Go of Perfection

Perfectionism can make stage fright much harder. When someone believes they need to sound flawless, appear completely calm, and avoid every mistake, the pressure becomes too heavy.

Perfectionism makes small moments feel high stakes. It also pulls attention away from the message and toward the fear of doing something wrong.

A healthier goal is presence.

Presence means staying connected to what matters. It means communicating clearly enough. It means allowing yourself to be human while still showing up with care and intention.

People often connect more with sincerity and clarity than with perfection. A person does not need to be flawless to be effective. They need to stay engaged with the moment.

Building Confidence Over Time

Confidence grows through repetition. It becomes stronger when people keep giving themselves manageable opportunities to be seen and heard.

That might include:

• speaking once in a meeting
• practicing in front of one trusted person
• recording a short video
• sharing one idea before overthinking it
• taking a small speaking opportunity These actions may seem simple, but they matter. They help the mind and body learn that visibility can be practiced. They reduce the fear response over time and create a more stable sense of confidence.

The goal is not to force confidence. The goal is to build it through experience.

Final Thoughts

Performance anxiety does not mean someone is not capable. It means pressure is affecting how the moment feels. Once that becomes clear, it becomes easier to respond with patience, practice, and support.

Confidence is built through small moments of action, recovery, and self-trust. It grows when people stop waiting to feel perfect and start learning how to stay present under pressure.

Lauren Bonvini is a Seattle-based stage fright coach who helps performers, speakers, and creatives work through performance anxiety and build confidence, presence, and self-trust.

To learn more about Lauren Bonvini and her work, visit:
https://laurenbonvini.com/