I loved you so, so much, even when I failed to show it. I watched you slip away from my own hands. I tried to hide how much it hurt in front of others but I couldn’t bear the pain, and nothing has felt the same ever since. Maybe I was a coward, I still am, but I couldn’t bring myself to face you in the moments when you needed me the most, so I chose to cry alone instead. I cried a lot over the years, alone, but the pain still lingers in me. Now, whenever grief finds me, I think of you, and I end up crying about everything all over again. It hurts so much and I want to stop but I can’t. I don’t know how to let go and if I even can ever. So I just wanted to say that if there is ever another time when we can all be together again, I hope I can show you just how much I love you.