Let's start from the basics: can you introduce yourself?

My name is Kathleen and I am a Kansas City resident for over thirty years. I came to this area when my late husband was offered a job as a biochemistry professor at a university medical center. The initial plan was that this would be a 5-10 year stay before moving on to another opportunity. We had moved from the DC area and everyday living seemed so much easier which was a welcome change. We were both raised in the Chicago area and I still have traces of an accent and bouts of homesickness – most often in the summer when the Cubs are winning.

For the last five years I have been working for an interior design firm. We do residential design and I work on the admin side. It’s a combination of accounting work as well as doing all the edits on invoicing for designers’ billable hours. I love that part of my job. Designers write a brief description of what they’ve done for a client and I clean up the wording and grammar for billing purposes. I’m not sure that any of our clients look at it outside of the total but I am proud of the work I put into it and believe it has made me a better writer.

I have three grown kids – a daughter who is a school librarian and married mom of three, a son who is an interior designer, and my youngest daughter who is getting her masters in clinical psychology. They have weathered some tough storms due to their dad’s death and have maintained their kindness, their humor, and their empathy and are, without a doubt, my favorite people.

What's the story behind your blog?

When we made our move to Kansas City from DC, we needed to let people know our new address and so we sent out Christmas cards with the dreaded newsletter. I wrote it as a spoof of what most people typically get and everyone loved it so it became an annual thing. I loved writing it and from there decided to start a blog.

For years I was on Blogspot and switched to Wordpress seven years ago. It was at that time that my husband ended his life. We had been married for 35 years and dated five years prior to that. It was devastating and a shock to everyone who knew him. He was my biggest cheerleader when it came to writing so it made sense that I would write the eulogy for his funeral and then read it in front of hundreds of people. To date there is no piece of writing that I am more proud of than that one. After that I kept writing and writing to try to process the all-consuming grief. What started as a light-hearted and fun blog became a real-time look into the life of someone whose entire life had been crushed beyond repair. I didn’t sugarcoat any of it and I think for many people it gave their own sorrow validity.

What does your creative process look like when it comes to blogging?

I spend a lot of time in my head thinking about a story and how I want to write it before I actually sit down and do the work. The best laid plans, however, can take unexpected detours. I think artistic people tend to be very observant to life and their surroundings so when I see something that touches or surprises me I file it away. It’s usually when I’m doing something mundane like walking the dog or driving to work. I have no idea why it has meaning or why I can’t stop thinking about it but I trust that it will be revealed when I’m writing. It nearly always is part of the detour and I have learned to get out of my own way, shelve my pre-conceived notions of how the story was supposed to go, and follow the fork in the road.

Do you have an ideal creative environment? Also do you believe the physical space influences your creativity?

When my kids grew up and moved out of the house, I turned one of their bedrooms into a writing studio. It was a very creative environment and I rarely used it.

For the past two years I have been in a relationship with another scientist (a colleague of my late husband). He was building a house four blocks from the one I lived in for decades. When things got serious between us and before the house was even finished, we walked in each of the upstairs bedrooms and he asked me which room I wanted for my writing. To this day the memory of that night still touches me, how he wanted to make space for me, how he knew this was important. We took one of the bigger bedrooms and made it a dual office space. I rarely use that space either. I’m writing this at the kitchen island where the windows are big and the light is good which seems is the best creative environment for me.

A question for the techie readers: can you run us through your tech stack?

As I previously mentioned, I have been on Wordpress for several years. Blogspot was easy for a beginner but I then learned they owned the content and knew I needed to switch. A friend did it for me and it has been a learning curve that has been incredibly frustrating at times. At one point all of my posts were switched to private so nobody could read them and my experience has been that their tech support is non-existent. Then my blog was hacked so it was a stressful few months to get everything worked out. That being said, I am considering moving to Substack based on reviews from other friends who are writers.

Given your experience, if you were to start a blog today, would you do anything differently?

The only thing I would do differently is I would have started sooner. I took a creative writing class in high school where the teacher read a piece she’d written about eating watermelon on a hot, summer day. I was mesmerized and wanted to write like that, to be transformed into another place for a brief moment. There is so much self-doubt when you’re putting your work into the world. You daily think that you absolutely suck as a writer but if you keep at it you find your voice and if it’s authentic it will resonate and you will find your audience.

Financial question since the Web is obsessed with money: how much does it cost to run your blog? Is it just a cost, or does it generate some revenue? And what's your position on people monetising personal blogs?

I pay about $70 a year for my domain. I don’t generate any revenue from it mainly because that has never been in my wheelhouse. As far as people monetizing their blog, I’m okay with that. I’m always taken aback when people complain that something is behind a paywall as if access to all creative work should be free.

Time for some recommendations: any blog you think is worth checking out? And also, who do you think I should be interviewing next?

Orlando Soria is a freelance interior designer who writes often about the field he’s in, financial upheaval, and observations about life. I love his writing for its authenticity and humor.

Anna Whiston Donaldson was my first introduction to writing about grief. She lost her son suddenly and her blog was a chronicle of that time when it was so raw and devastating. She doesn’t write as often now and I miss her voice. She made me unafraid to write about my own grief when my husband died.

Tom Pochapsky is a scientist and was one of my husband’s dearest friends. He’s a fabulous writer and his take on current events is spot on.

Final question: is there anything you want to share with us?

It has been my goal for a very long time to turn my blog work into a book. After my husband’s death I literally felt like I was losing my mind. Writing helped me in so many ways and I have found that most people are grieving something. We learn as we go how to carry our losses and my blog has shown me that there is an audience that is desperate to be understood. I hope I can shed a small light on them.

Secondly, we are living through such dark times so whatever your creative outlet is bring it out into the open. The arts help us make sense of the world. Become part of that company – you are desperately needed.

Lastly, thank you, Manu, for reaching out to me and inviting me into this club. I had to read your email three times to make sure it was legit because who does this sort of thing? Highlights blog writers? My sincere thanks to you. What a gift to be able to do this.