We’ve been taught to believe that love is something you fall into. That when you meet the right person, you’ll just know. The chemistry will be undeniable. The connection effortless.

But what if almost everything we’ve been taught about love is wrong?

In this episode of The Language of Love, I sit down with social psychologist, relationship expert, and author of Love by Design, Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh. For more than two decades, Sara has studied thriving couples across 40 countries to understand what actually creates lasting, fulfilling love. Her research challenges many of the myths we’ve grown up believing and offers a refreshing, evidence-based perspective on what makes relationships flourish.

One of the biggest takeaways? Lasting love isn’t something you stumble into. It’s something you intentionally create.

We explore why the butterflies we chase can sometimes be our nervous system responding to familiar patterns rather than genuine compatibility, why peaceful relationships can initially feel unfamiliar, and what it really takes to build a relationship that grows stronger over time.

In this episode, we discuss:

• Why love is built, not found

• The biggest myth about love that keeps people stuck in unhealthy relationship patterns

• Why intense chemistry isn’t always a sign you’ve found the right person

• How your nervous system shapes who you’re attracted to

• The difference between anxiety, excitement, and genuine compatibility

• Why healthy love can sometimes feel “boring” at first and why that’s often a good sign

• The six essential ingredients Sara has found in thriving, long-term relationships

• How to cultivate attraction and intimacy long after the honeymoon phase ends

• A simple practice that helps couples feel more connected without saying a word

• Why your relationship patterns show up not only with romantic partners, but also with family, friends, and colleagues

• The powerful question that can reveal whether you’re settling for the love you think you deserve

Whether you’re dating, married, healing from heartbreak, or simply wanting stronger relationships in every area of your life, this conversation offers practical wisdom grounded in decades of research and real-world experience.

To learn more about Dr. Sara Nasserzadeh, visit her website and pick up a copy of Love by Design. If this conversation resonated with you, please share it with someone who could use the reminder that healthy love isn’t about finding the perfect person. It’s about creating the kind of relationship where both people can truly thrive.

To learn more about Dr. Sara’s work, grab her book Love by Design or connect with her at her website. And if this episode resonated with you, share it with someone who needs to hear that love doesn’t have to be a mystery. It can be a choice.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices