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Aubry Bracco played the kind of Survivor 50 game you’d expect of a winner for a season defined by the theme of rebirth: Informed by her decade of past gameplay, adaptable and patient, willing and able to roar to the front of the pack in the competition’s final act. She subtly engineered big moves, like the blindsiding of legends Ozzy Lusth and Cirie Fields, and rigorously determined — and executed — her ideal final three to come out on top, winning her first season after losing the previous three times.

In conversation with The Hollywood Reporter below, less than 24 hours after she officially won the blockbuster $2 million prize, Bracco admits to feeling “exhausted,” and starts to cry at several points. There is a feeling of tremendous release, as she confirms she will not be playing again — thereby closing the chapter on this epic, tumultuous, very public period of her life. But she also shows up willing to get into all of it: the key moments that determined her fate, how she studied to prepare herself for her biggest season ever, what the internet had to say about her gameplay, the betting markets apparently spoiling the season months in advance, and so much more.

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Over the last 24 hours, has any theme come up for you in conversations you’ve had with people that’s surprised you about reactions to your win or your gameplay?

For a lot of people, it’s been like a 10 year journey — for those folks who were watching Survivor pre-COVID it’s like, “I can’t believe that’s been 10 years of this.” It feels like a very satisfying cap on my story.

One thing I’ve always appreciated about you as a player is that you tell your story so beautifully in real time. I think that’s very hard to do out there. What was it like to watch it back, seeing that arc unfold as you, yourself, outlined it?

It was wild watching it back. I had different phases of my game. I couldn’t get my footing in the pre-merge. Then I hit the merge and I didn’t really have any strong alliances; I didn’t really have that social equity. I had to start from scratch, but it was also a blessing that I was starting fresh at the merge when people already had these in-game relationships. There were phases to it. It was really interesting to watch. Different elements of Survivor: Kaoh Rong, Game Changers or Edge of Extinction would crop up, and I was taking lessons along the way and trying to weave them into the experience I was having in real time. I was so lucky that I’d had the experience of knowing what it feels like to taste the win. Being in a scrappy position and getting to the final five; I had to scrape for every vote in Game Changers; and then getting blindsided in Edge of Extinction. I was pulling at all the threads of my experiences.

How were you assessing the jury during that final tribal council? Were you doing math in your head? I figured Chrissy, Stephenie and Coach were voting for Jonathan — and the rest of the jury wound up going your way.  

Yes, I for sure thought Chrissy, Stephenie and probably Coach, were going for Jonathan before we got there. It’s a big reason why I wanted Joe sitting next to me and not Rizo. There was potential that we could split the votes; I didn’t want to bring that element into it. He played a very New Era game. I wasn’t sure where Dee would go. Dee is a badass player and she had some more time with Rizo; she had barely any time with me. But during that final tribal, I was elated when I saw Ozzy and Tiffany fighting for me. They’d advocate for me. Chrissy and Stephenie would advocate for Jonathan. It was very much a back and forth, and he really was a formidable competitor. Jonathan played a great game, a more overt game than I did, and that jury was tough. 

What did you make of that moment where Stephanie made, I would say, some comments about Jonathan, and Tiffany challenged her to ask a question.  

I forgot that Tiffany asked, “Was that a question?” (Laughs.) Everybody has their own criteria for what makes a Survivor winner. Stephenie made hers very clear. I just think that dynamic showed that there was a lot going on at Ponderosa, too.

You made such a strong, emotional final pitch at the end with this very personal story. Did you plan to deliver that in that way? 

I was so grateful Christian asked for that story. I started my career as a newspaper reporter. [Starts crying] Sorry, it makes me emotional. I’m a marketer who tells stories. I just sat so long and thought about the fact that I thought End of Extinction was the end of my run. When I was called for season 50, I was so honored that I thought the conclusion was written to my Survivor book. I’m like, “There’s 751 players. There’s no way they call me.” And then Jeff was willing to have me back and I got to rewrite my story. We all fantasize about things we would do differently, and I actually got that opportunity. Christian just served me up the space to hold that space and asked that question. 

It still sounds very present for you.

Also, I’m exhausted. And I will always cry — that’s my thing. (Laughs.) But it’s so present. When I first started playing season 50, I had such a bodily response. I asked the show’s therapist at one point, “Do other people feel it?” She goes, “Yes, but you have the most bodily reaction to it.” I just do. And to see the finale, I got to see so much of the in-between moments — there was more space for our stories on the screen and I could feel everything. I could feel the moment, it felt so like I was there, the emotional texture of it, it’s just right at the surface. Waiting nine months to see this, 10 months, whatever it’s been since July — and it’s all right there.

A really pivotal moment for your game is the Cirie vote-out. Was she as dominant as it seemed to us watching until that point? 

Cirie was so dominant. I don’t want to speak for Joe, but Joe said something beautifully in the game. He was like, “It’s like Cirie is in a garden and all of a sudden there’s a whisper and the whisper is the name, and then the tulips start talking to the daisies and the daisies talk to the birds and they all talk and everyone’s out.” It really had this magic quality to it. She’s magnetic, she’s charismatic, she’s grounded. She fully stood in her power as a player this season. She had just come off of Australian [Survivor]. She was just so strong in every sense of the word. She was the dominant player of the season without a doubt. I knew before the game she needed to go. 

Had you been thinking about it in the days leading up to that tribal council? Suddenly an opportunity presents itself very clearly. Since you knew you had to get her out, where was the level of panic before that?

I knew before I went out there — I was like, “I want to play with Cirie until [final] six.” I talked to my sister when I was still in casting, in the running, like, “I would play it with Cirie to a point, but then she has to go.” She almost drew dead with the number she had on the board. When Ozzy went … I knew the people I could beat at the end and I could not beat Devins, Cirie and probably Tiffany. It was a number thing.

How have you, over the times that you’ve played, learned to balance or navigate personal relationships versus game relationships? It was lovely to see the degree of respect you and Cirie clearly had for each other before, during and after her elimination. But it’s complicated, right?

It really is. I thought I played a very social game in Kaoh Rong, but I learned that you can get very close to people and it can be very hurtful. I’ve learned how to have all different kinds of relationships — my relationship with Cirie, we have a connection. It’s this intuitive, strong connection, but in the game, it’s respect. You compartmentalize it. I have so much love for Cirie. I have heart relationships, head relationships, intuitive relationships where I’m just on the same wavelength as people and then there’s just pure game ones I share. [Cirie and I] are built similarly in that we’re able to compartmentalize it. That’s why I have so much respect for her. She’s an expert at these games and I feel like I understand how she moves and she understands how I move.

I heard you say last night that you’d actually been at one point cut from the cast list. Is that right?

Yeah, I was never an alternate. I know the internet thinks they know everything. But I was cut in March. I was called back in April.

What was that month in between like?

When I was told I didn’t make the cast, I felt for the person on the other line — I know them very well and I said, “This is going to be the easiest call you make today. I understand it’s a business decision and I’m so honored you’d even think of me.” Then I let it go. This isn’t my time. I’ve learned losing Survivor three times that sometimes it’s just not your time and it’s so hard to win this game. It’s so hard to get on this game. Then they called me back and it was almost good because I didn’t spend the time thinking about it as much. I got a break from thinking — I was studying and overthinking it, and then it popped up out of nowhere.

What does that studying look like exactly?

I did take a break from Survivor after [season] 38, so when I was first called, I started watching newer seasons — I hadn’t watched a bunch of them. When the cast list came out, I started studying everyone’s exit interviews, figuring out what their wounds were, what they were going to try to undo, what their style was, trying to figure out people’s relationships based on activity online like a stalker (Laughs). There’s a podcast called Game of Roses about The Bachelor and The Bachelorette, and they talk about how there are different audiences: There’s the lead, there’s the other players, there’s production. I made a commitment to myself that if I went on Survivor, I wanted to win — and to win, your primary audience has to be the players.

So I made a promise to myself: I was only going to play for the players. I looked at game theory. There’s a guy named Nick Metzler and he was on the show, Got to Get Out. I think he’s a game designer. He talked a lot about different facets of the game, when you should be considering moves, when you should be lying low, what your primary objective is to get to the next phase. It was really helpful for me to zoom out and look at the game that way. 

Then my friend Mark Moses, always says, “What do you want? What could get in the way? How will you get there? How do you hold yourself accountable?” I took ownership of myself. People always say a lot of Survivor is about luck. I have another friend, Chris Savage, and he always says, “The recipe for luck is persistence and the belief that good things can happen.” So I bring up those two examples because yeah, I studied the players, I studied the game theory, but then I also had these mantras for myself of: If I hit an obstacle, how would I overcome it? How would I hold myself accountable? How would I think about luck in the New Era? You can complain about luck or you can manage luck to the best of your ability. I think that was one of my strengths.

Did anything about the New Era gameplay strike you as you caught up on it?

I voted out Debbie in Kaoh Rong, and she was a close ally at the time. A lot of people said, “Why’d you do that? That was too soon.” That was a little New Era coded, I feel — meaning that the New Era doesn’t feel as tight all the time with certain alliances, sometimes. It’s a little more fluid. I noticed that you had to be more fluid. You had to keep the doors open. The board kind of resets every move. 

Did you feel more suited to it?

In a lot of ways. It does lend itself to a faster style of gameplay, which is good for me in that it prevents me from overthinking. There’s less downtime in that I am much better at failing fast and pivoting now that I kind of have this more entrepreneurial aspect of my personality. It was the right season for me.

Maybe an odd question for a winner, but what would you say was your biggest mistake in the game?

I had really gotten off on the wrong foot [at the beginning] on Vatu. If I could go back, I probably would’ve made Stephenie feel more comfortable with me. She was kind of a very stable player that I saw myself working with, and I think in my desire to remain open, I didn’t make her feel comfortable. 

You mentioned the internet earlier. How much were you reading the internet as the season was airing?

Oh yeah, I pay attention. I see it all. It’s okay. I can take it all. People love me. People hate my face. I’m a flop. It’s fine. You can call me whatever you want at this point. Your 82-year-old mom can leave a voice memo pissed about me. I appreciate the love. I appreciate the not love. If you’re going to take the good, you’ve got to take the bad. It’s the wild west. It’s super interesting, having people speculate and talk about you like you’re not even in the room. I learned a long time ago when Michele and I were going through all that, that people are going to tell me how I felt and talk about me even if I were dead and wouldn’t care if I had an opinion. When I realized I didn’t even care or give a shit if I was in the room, I just was like, “Whatever. It’s fine. Go have a fight about me.” 

Were you aware of the whole betting market situation on Kalshi? You were pegged as the very heavy favorite to win for months, with millions of dollars in the pool. 

Yeah, I’m so curious what happened with that and what happens with that in the future. It seems so wild. I’d have people sending me that stuff all season and I just would be like, “Okay.” Or, “Oh, interesting.” You see there are articles about Kalshi and your name is in The New York Times. It was so strange. What a strange cultural moment for all of us, where my name is the example and stuff. It’s bizarre. I wonder what’s going to happen with it.

How surprised were you by the actual vote totals?

Oh my gosh. Christian, Emily and Devens were tightlipped. I was hoping I would have them. I didn’t know. I was honored and surprised that I had all three of them. (Crying) There’s the emotion again. You wait nine months for this! I didn’t know. Jonathan didn’t know. We have talked about it. I feel for Jonathan, I think he played a really good game and Joe is the most wonderful human being ever. So it’s hard. It’s hard to sit in the final three. It’s the second time I’ve been there. 

Yeah, I can imagine. Was there something about that trio that felt particularly meaningful to you that they all went in your direction? Obviously you have a history with Devens on Edge of Extinction.

I just feel really, really comfortable with them. They are the nerds. I am comfortable among the nerds. Yesterday we were in the green room, we’re all kind of the same height — we all kind of match. It just meant a lot to me that they saw my game.

As this is your last time playing, as you say — beyond the win, what does it feel like to go out in a season alongside Ozzy, Cirie, and so many others for whom, like yourself, this has been a major part of their life for so many years?

It’s amazing. I feel so honored to play with them again. It’s been such a big part of our lives. Ozzy and I talked a lot about the personal work we’ve done to grow over the years. Cirie and I get each other and I love her. She’s wonderful. Her family is wonderful. It’s just so special. It’s very personal.

Follow along with THR‘s Survivor 50 finale coverage here.