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Grey’s Anatomy star Kim Raver knows what a gift Teddy Altman has been.

“I love having been able to play this character for so long,” she tells The Hollywood Reporter of her long-running role on the hit ABC medical drama. Raver joined Grey’s in 2009 for season six. She left the show after three seasons, returning briefly in 2017’s season 14, and then coming back full time ever since 2018’s season 15. She also directed three episodes.

In the season 22 finale that aired on May 7, however, Raver and co-star Kevin McKidd ended their run as beloved couple Teddy and Dr. Owen Hunt, respectively, when the coparents reconciled and chose each other after Owen narrowly survived a bridge collapse and decided to follow Teddy to her new job in Paris.

The decision to leave the show was not on the actors. Showrunner Meg Marinis previously explained to THR that the choice was a financial one amid a shifting industry.

“I’ll just say that playing Teddy and letting go of Teddy is a deeply felt and an incredibly emotional journey for me, because the gift of being on the show for so long and working with Shondaland, as an actor, is lightning in a bottle,” Raver now says. “I went to work every day aware of what an opportunity it is. It means so much to me.”

Below, Raver brings THR inside the decision while sharing more of her reaction and current thoughts, and her hopes for Teddy’s legacy.

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First, how are you doing?

I’m good. I’m really, really good. Thank you so much for all your amazing support over the years. I’m always checking out what you all are thinking and feeling about the show.

I spoke with showrunner Meg Marinis previously and I understand this decision was brought to you and Kevin, and that it was a financial one. She said you were both pros about it. But I imagine after all these years, that’s a hard conversation. How difficult was that conversation about leaving the show, and what questions did you have when they first told you?

Look, I’m so grateful to have been a part of this show as long as I have been. As an actor, to be able to tell the story of Teddy Altman for this many years and go through all of these incredible [stories]… One of my favorite things that Shonda Rimes does is that she allows these characters to be messy and complicated, and make big-swing mistakes and I know that’s a gift. I would go to work and just be grateful every day. I’d go onto that lot, and I was so excited to figure out, “Okay, what’s a different way that we’re going to tell this today, and how we’re going to do do that?”

There’s such a collaboration. Working with Meg was so amazing. We would have sit downs where I would ask the big questions: “Where is that going? What’s the overall arc?” The writers room and Shondaland have always been incredible advocates for telling those stories. It’s been a real gift to be able to tell Teddy’s story for so long.

If it were up to you, would you have stayed on for more seasons?

I love this character. I love working with Shondaland. I hope to continue being collaborative with Shondaland in the future. I’ve loved every day being there.

You’ve been on this show long enough to see many other co-stars leave, and some come back. The industry is now shifting. Budgets are smaller. There are shorter episode orders and smaller ensembles. When you look back, what are you nostalgic for and when you look forward, what does it make you think about as a working actor with the future of scripted network TV?

I think they’re finding ways to expand and keep telling incredible stories across the board. Showrunners are finding ways to tell stories. I feel so fortunate that I worked with incredible people like Shonda Rhimes and Betsy Beers, and outside of that, the John Wells and Howard Gordons. Those people are finding ways to keep telling stories, and I really feel grateful I’ve been part of those ensembles and gotten to tell incredible stories through incredible characters.

I understand you had this initial conversation in January. So you knew for a handful of episodes what was coming. How emotional were you acting out your final episodes, knowing that you were getting to the end of Teddy and Owen’s story?

You can imagine! I love this character. I love having been able to play this character for so long. I love being able to collaborate with the writers room on where Teddy has come from, where she’s going. Even when we were hitting sticky storylines like the open marriage, Meg was incredible at shepherding that in a really graceful and creative and organic character-driven way. Working with this cast and all of our guest stars are incredible. I love our crew. It’s an ensemble and a company of extremely talented people.

Were you involved in Teddy and Owen’s ending? How did you feel when you found out what they decided?

I think we’ve all felt throughout the years that the endgame we wanted was Teddy and Owen. It felt really important. I love the speech last season where Teddy says, “I choose myself.” For me, it was really important that Teddy really did choose herself for the first time and needed to grow as an individual before she could really love anyone back. At that moment, she didn’t know who that was going to be.

So coming into this finale with them leaving together, I had some really incredible conversations with Meg. She’s always been extremely collaborative and sensitive to what I’ve been passionate about in terms of honoring my character. She definitely heard me saying that I wanted it to be in combination — that from when Teddy said “I choose myself,” she really actually did explore who she is and what she needs, and she’ll be a much better person in a relationship once she is on that path.

Teddy really got that this season by doing these breakout surgeries and finding her own voice. Then with choosing to go to Paris to take this job — and getting to do it with the love of her life.

How soon before you filmed the finale did you get the script and read the ending?

I was filled in on some of the big picture parts. But we usually get the episode eight or 10 days before we start filming. Meg was really wonderful in talking me through, because it’s really important for me to know what’s happening so that I can pepper certain things into episodes before that.

That’s also the big joke in television. I remember John Wells telling me a story about how he told one of the actors 10 seasons in on ER, “By the way, you have a brother.” They were like, “I have a brother?!” In your mind, you might be going in an entirely different direction. And that’s great writers and great TV with the writers room. So I really appreciated that Meg filled me in so that I could prep a little for where we were heading. But I don’t think I got the script until everyone else did.

How did you react when you read that they make this decision to choose each other in the end?

The experience that I had, saying goodbye, I don’t know how to describe it. Because it’s such an incredible family, and the crew means so much to me, and the character means so much to me, it’s not possible to just give it to you in a sentence. So I’ll just say that playing Teddy and letting go of Teddy is a deeply felt and an incredibly emotional journey for me, because the gift of being on the show for so long and working with Shondaland, as an actor, is lightning in a bottle. I went to work every day aware of what an opportunity it is. It means so much to me.

When did your cast find out? Did you guys have to keep it quiet?

I don’t know when they found out. That’s a Meg question.

Were people approaching you, what was that like?

We’re definitely a close family. We do so many hours together and go through so many different things that we’re all aware of how things are ever shifting.

I understand the final thing you shot with Kevin was the final scene we saw, of the two of you walking away. What was it like shooting that scene, as well as shooting the scene before where your characters make the choice to be together?

There were words [from the cast and crew] throughout filming the whole episode, because there’s a real awareness of the finite storytelling of such a closeness that I have with Teddy. I get completely connected and emotional about the characters I play, especially this one, because I’ve been playing her for so long. She’s gone through so much; war in Iraq. It’s a lifetime. Who gets to play a character for this long? So it’s not only saying goodbye to cast and crew and place, but also saying goodbye to a character I feel so much for because I’ve had to go through everything.

When you picture Teddy and Owen making a life together in Paris, what do you see?

Oh, it’s so good! They are living their best lives in Paris. It’s as good as it was in the windowsill in the episode in Germany, where they’re in the kitchen in the snow and madly in love. That’s what they’re doing, but they’re eating croissants and walking through the Marais.

When you think about the strides Teddy will make in medicine, what will her legacy be as a doctor?

I think she’s just at the beginning of a groundbreaking career. I love what Meg and Shondaland had her doing in terms of breakout medicine. It’s such an honor to play these first responders and what’s going on in the medical world today and actually be able to inhabit a cardiothoracic badass. I think she’s at the beginning of a groundbreaking career.

The door is open for Teddy and Owen to return. Meg said she’d love to have you back. Have you thought about if you’d be interested in walking back through the door as Teddy, or directing? Would you come back for an arc if the story was right?

Of course I would. I love Teddy. I love this group. Directing has been such an absolute whole new, exciting world for me, and I’m so grateful to Debbie Allen and to Shondaland. That’s a family for me. So yes, I would absolutely come back and would love to direct and continue the Teddy storyline whenever.

Have you seen the episode yet, and the flashback montage? [Note: We spoke before the episode aired.]

It’s written in the script “flashback.” I haven’t actually seen that part. I’m sure I’ll love that. It’s just so beautifully written and the fact that Kevin got to direct it is so fitting. He’s done the most directed episodes of Grey’s Anatomy, and he’s such a talent. We had such an incredible working relationship, and our characters have gone through so much together. The fact that he was directing it was perfect.

Did that make it easier to be directed by him for this final episode?

Oh, for sure. It’s second nature for him now, and I’m so used to him directing. There’s such an ease there. I just love that he was directing this finale.

Will you continue to tune in to Grey’s?

Of course. I love this group. I love all their storylines. I love that Teddy was mentoring even to the very last minute with Blue [Harry Shum Jr.]. It’s such a great little detail that Meg put in because that’s also how Teddy started when she was mentoring Christina [Yang]. Even with in the insanity of what was happening with the bridge and in her personal life, she’s still out there believing in others and their capability. Also with Debbie giving me the chance to direct, I love that moment in there.

What’s next for you after Grey’s?

I’m really passionate about directing, and I love acting. I want to keep doing that. I have a great time doing that. But I have the rights to this book. It’s a female lead, so getting that off the ground as a series and EP-ing it and directing it, or as a feature, is my next venture.

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Grey’s Anatomy has been renewed for season 23 and will return in the fall. read Kevin McKidd’s exit interview with THR.