This Met Ball was wild before it even began: Protestors planted posters to boycott sponsor Jeff Bezos; fake urine samples were scattered across New York to object to his instructing Amazon drivers to pee in bottles; and Anna Wintour’s dictums on what to wear extended to even Vogue editor Chloe Malle. The Devil Wears Prada 2‘s big weekend opening coincided with the Gala… but Meryl Streep sat it out, purportedly to protest against Bezos. And did anyone understand Met Costume Institute curator Andrew Bolton’s exhibition theme, “Costume Art: the Intersection of Fashion History and the Body as Canvas”? These concepts have become so obtuse, the theme dressing has either gone out the window — or become so extreme, it is costume.

But as Hollywood well knows, wild makes for good watching, and a goodly amount of social hits. Who can resist the urge to look at celebs competing for attention with increasingly far-out creations, the inevitable result of unlimited cash and insider fashion access? When Cher, in Burberry, is the most subtly dressed, you know it’s a topsy-turvy night.

The Met Ball’s biggest shocker came from benefactress Lauren Bezos Sanchez, our modern Marie Antoinette: She actually toned it down (!) in a Schiaparelli couture black fishtail gown with crystal straps, one hanging off her shoulder as homage to John Singer Sargent’s most famous painting, Portrait of Madame X, which prompted a scandal in 1884 over a society woman exposing her shoulder. Sounds like Lauren’s finally in on the joke. Still, she didn’t hide her perennial display of boobs.

John Galliano threw his own curve ball: dressing the one and only Stevie Nicks in a stadium-sized ballgown (with Nicks’ trademark top hat), his very first collab with Zara. Zara had a very good night, dressing another pop star: Bad Bunny. While the beautiful people always display youth (even if it’s paid for), the always original Benito Antonio Martinez Ocasio was unrecognizable, doubling his actual age of 32 with wizened grey hair, beard and bushy eyebrows, prosthetic wrinkles and a cane. The polar opposite of Benjamin Button, it was an incredible feat of prosthetics, imagination and nerve.

Several stars went incognito, though not all as cleverly as Bad Bunny. Heidi Klum seemed to confuse the Met Gala with her own infamous Halloween party. Often revealing way too much, she instead hid herself with the help of designer Mike Marino, transforming into a faded stone statue made of latex and spandex, based on classical works of art like “Veiled Christ” by Sammartino. It may be the first time in recorded history that a supermodel of any age made herself look older.

Several stars slid behind masks: Sarah Paulson wore a dollar bill over her eyes with a ballgown the color of post-volcanic eruption smoke, from notorious French brand Matieres Fecales’ fall collection, fittingly entitled “The One Percent.” India businesswoman Ananya Birla donned a full stainless steel mask emulating armor; Katy Perry’s years of practice of attention-grabbing at the Met (wearing a chandelier, etc.) was inverted by hiding under what looked like a mirrored fencing mask by Serbian/NY designer Miodrag Guberinic. If Gwendoline Christie’s scarlet dress by partner/designer Gilles Deacon wasn’t loud enough on its own, she carried a mask of her own face by Turner Prize-winning British artist Gillian Wearing.

Joan of Arc armor in the form of hardened corsets, even breastplates, were built into a number of dresses. The look was imperious, and the feeling had to be cold and a bit painful. Janelle Monae, whose fashion is always art, looked stuck in her Christian Siriano … what? AI sculpture? Machinery? It was more Marcel Duchamp than dress — perfect for the theme, but impossible to walk in. Kylie Jenner’s nipple-exposing Schiaparelli was half-nude, rubbery bodysuit, half giant ballgown. Don’t worry: Her genitals were obscured, barely, by the skirt.

Kim Kardashian’s sensationalism reached new heights — hard to do — with a metal breast plate that was finished in a literal auto body shop, as conceived by British artist Allen Jones and styled by artist Nadia Lee Cohen. The metallic orange color made one reel, its cone bra ripped off from Jean Paul Gaultier. The warrior princess look was rampant: Serena Williams’ Marc Jacobs metal mini was ready for battle, while Odessa D’Azion must be angling for a superhero movie with that oddball Valentino corset and cape. Doechii and Tyla, last year’s best dressed, went woman warrior lite.

Weird for the sake of weird? Or art for art’s sake? You be the judge. Lena Dunham was all red sequins, then wrapped in a snakelike feather boa by Valentino. Tessa Thompson’s Yves Klein blue Valentino was striking — all the more because her fingers were also dipped in the hue. And Madonna’s Saint Laurent witchy woman get-up? Apparently, she was emulating the 1945 painting Temptation of St. Anthony, by British surrealist Leonora Carrington. The only thing to say here: I’m speechless.

Even some well-intended luxury brand looks fell flat. Teyana Taylor, ever the purposeful center of attention, donned a silver foil fringe look by Haider Ackermann for Tom Ford, but overdid it with a matching wig, converting her into a tinsel tree. Nicole Kidman’s crimson Chanel pouf gown by Matthieu Blazy was not only not a flattering shape on her slender frame, the color overwhelmed her. One exception: Rihanna’s metallic Maison Margiela by Glenn Martens with round wrap was rather strange, futuristic, but still flattering and well fitting. Its sculpted shape was one of the best uses of the Met Ball’s themes: the body as sculpture. ASAP Rocky’s baby pink (they just had a girl) bathrobe coat was the opposite of sculpted: soft, feminine, a nice role reversal by Chanel. I thought it the best Chanel of the night.

And what can you say about Queen Bey’s Olivier Rousteing (former designer of Balmain) shimmery gown that resembled a silver skeleton, with a crown on top? The Met co-chair dressed like the queen she is, announcing herself as the queen? Well, cool?? Does Beyoncé even need to do that? Meanwhile, it’s a big signal that the Balmain and Kardashian’s former wunderkind designer is indeed going solo.

A few more looks deserving of note:

Most Matrix-y Men: Alexander Wang brought his very own futuristic robot, AgiBot, to the Met as his date, while he sipped a can of his own brand’s energy drink, a sparkling tea, on the carpet (talk about product placement). Patrick Schwarzennegger was giving full-on Matrix in a Public School hardcore corset look and walking stick — that’s one way to differentiate yourself from your macho dad! Nicholas Hoult’s all-leather Prada suit was definitely badass, but more appropriate for Coachella.

Odd Lookalikes or Inspirations: Amanda Seyfried, with her long high ponytail, was a double for Ariana Grande. Ben Stiller’s wife Christine Taylor did her best Reese Witherspoon, sporting a big blonde pouf. Was Vittoria Ceretti, in a Carolina Herrera two-piece bathing suit with a bit of skirt, going for Esther Williams? Was makeup artist Charlotte Tilbury auditioning to play a bar maid in a Game of Thrones prequel? Was SZA wearing Scarlett O’Hara’s curtains? Was Carey Mulligan wearing a Prada picnic tablecloth? What were they thinking? No, really, I’m just curious.

Oddball Fabrics: Kendall Jenner’s great Gap grecian gown was made out of draped Gap t-shirts; Sabrina Carpenter’s highly original Dior was cut out of film strips. Weird fabrics, great looks.

You can’t call out the worst without naming the best: Grace Gummer in Gabriella Hearst, Julianne Moore in Bottega Veneta, Hailey Bieber rocked a breastplate that really worked by Saint Laurent, Zoe Kravitz also shone in Saint Laurent, and Kendall Jenner in Gap. Somehow, they managed to match the artful with the chic. It’s not an easy call.