Be sure to stop by the concession stand and stock up on liquids before sitting down to watch Rupert Wyatt’s anachronistic swords-and-sandals epic set, as the opening graphics inform us, 1,500 years ago in Arabia. As the title would indicate, Desert Warrior takes place in arid settings, but they’re not nearly as arid as the turgid narrative devised by David Self and scripted by him, Erica Beeney and director Rupert Wyatt (Rise of the Planet of the Apes, Captive State). The film was shot five years ago and is only reaching theaters now, but it’s likely to be swept away as quickly as desert sands.

Contrary to expectations, the title doesn’t refer to the “Bandit” played by an underutilized Anthony Mackie, but rather the kick-ass Princess Hind (a commanding Aiysha Hart, Line of Duty), who incites a rebellion against the despotic Emperor Kisa II (Ben Kingsley, disappearing quickly but making a vivid impression nonetheless, if only for his eyeliner). It seems that Kisa, in addition to demanding tribute from his subjects, has delivered another edict as well — namely that all the kings in his realm offer up their daughters to serve as his concubines.

The princess naturally balks at the unseemly demand, so she decamps to the desert and incites revolution along with her father, the deposed King Al-Numan (Ghassan Massoud). There, she encounters the rascally bandit (aren’t they always?) with whom she forms an alliance that thankfully never turns romantic, with his primary motivation, at least until he discovers a conscience, being gold. Taking refuge with the sympathetic Chief Hani (Sami Bouajila) and relentlessly pursued by Kisa’s murderous, bounty-hunting henchman Commander Jalabzeen (Sharlto Copley, looking even more fearsome than usual), Hind and the bandit whip together a consortium of warring, rebellious tribes to fight the king’s soldiers.

You know what that means, don’t you? Plenty of elaborate battles scenes with all the extras, horses and camels that Saudi Arabian money can buy (and let’s face it, that’s a lot). $150 million, to be precise, which makes you think back to such Arabian-funded efforts as 1976’s Mohammed, Messenger of God, which spent a fortune to recreate the city of Mecca.

You can certainly see the money that was spent onscreen, with Desert Warrior boasting lavish production values including elaborate sets and costumes. Cinematographer Guillermo Garza makes the most of the scenic locations, shooting gorgeous vistas and conveying the epic scale of the landscape with a plethora of drone shots. The story culminates with the real-life Battle of Dhi Qar, providing the filmmaker the opportunity to show off his 12,500 extras (Cecil B. DeMille must be looking on with approval) and, with the exception of some cartoonish CGI hyenas, an admirable reliance on practical effects.

But while the film may be visually stunning, it’s lacking quite a bit in the narrative department, with the confusing storyline, paper-thin characterizations, and stiffly clichéd dialogue resulting in as much tedium as a lengthy camel ride through the desert. 

It’s easy to get the feeling that Desert Warrior is designed as much to show off the impressive locations and Saudi Arabian production values as to tell a compelling historical story. The whole enterprise has the manufactured feeling of those international co-productions from the ‘60s that had the unfortunate tendency to bankrupt movie studios. Fortunately, with all that Saudi money to play with, there’s no such danger of that here.