On Friday, we covered the Pentagon’s UFO file drop because a filmmaker first showed the world a spaceship in 1902 (Georges Méliès’ A Trip to the Moon) and, ever since, Hollywood has created thousands of movies and TV shows depicting an endless array of UFOs and aliens. The entertainment industry helped invent this genre; we made it huge, we f–king own it. 

Now, suddenly, the U.S. government wants in. The Pentagon has gone from denying UFOs are a thing to dumping documents, photos and video concerning “anomalous” phenomena. The Department of Defense has promised more files to come on a “rolling” basis. This follows Donald Trump teasing “very interesting” UFO revelations, and members of Congress suggesting proof of alien life is right around the corner if only they can convince nefarious deep state bureaucrats to let them release it. 

But if the Pentagon expects to play on Hollywood’s turf, it needs to raise its game. Last week’s UFO series premiere was a major disappointment; a vague, grainy, redacted mess. There wasn’t a coherent plot, there weren’t any characters to root for and the effects were dreadful. This release would get an even lower Rotten Tomatoes score than Prime Video’s notorious, pandemic-shot War of the Worlds remake, where Ice Cube spent 90 minutes reacting to an alien invasion while on Zoom calls.

At best, those 162 files provide enough material for a season of Ancient Aliens. For the less gullible among us, we’re not impressed by watching a single pixel, looking like an escapee from an Atari 2600, float across the screen (and this was described as one of the best clips). 

Such videos were often recorded by U.S. Navy fighter jets using an AN/ASQ-228 Advanced Targeting Forward-Looking Infrared (ATFLIR) pod. This is impressively described as “a multi-sensor electro-optical device” that includes a “high-powered (thermal/infrared) camera, a low-light television camera and a laser rangefinder.” 

But another way to describe this device — which surely cost taxpayers a fortune — is a camera that utterly sucks at being a camera. Every video looks like a 1940s TV broadcast that somebody recorded with a Super 8 camera and then left in their attic for 70 years. We’ve grown accustomed to new Jurassic Park and Star Wars movies somehow magically looking worse than they were decades ago, but even NASA footage from the first moon walk in 1969 is somehow clearer than the government UFO videos today. So let’s get Christopher Nolan to mount some Imax cameras on those F/A 18 Super Hornets and then maybe we’ll get out of bed to look at these zig-zagging blobs. 

If the government really is hiding quality video of visitors from another world, let me reassure on this point. There’s something that nobody seems to get about so-called disclosure: Our entire concept of what might happen next if the government were to confirm alien life is based on an era of government trust that no longer exists. If Trump announces aliens are real, who is going to believe him? Not Democrats. Not half of Republicans, at this point. Everything Trump has said about tariffs is wrong — nobody is believing him about aliens. The Pentagon could put out a 4K video of a massive Close Encounters-style mothership hovering over a Chick-fil-A and Americans would go, “Pfft, fake news, AI slop, distraction.”

One wonders if all this age of disclosure hype might end up actually hurting Steven Spielberg’s Disclosure Day more than helping. The real-life disclosure buzz out there, combined with Universal’s “we’re hiding a bunch of this movie from trailers” campaign, is getting to the point where UFO buffs are starting to think the movie is going to end with Spielberg and Barack Obama walking into Area 51 and revealing a cryogenically frozen E.T. or something.

In the meantime, documentarian Jeremy Corbell has a new documentary out this week, Sleeping Dog, touting new previously unreleased UFO videos (Blurry orbs? You bet!). And front-line disclosure advocate Rep. Tim Burchett (whose comforting aw-shucks Tennessee drawl could be used for a sleep aid app) promises last week’s file drop is “just a drop in the bucket” and that something is coming soon that will be a true “holy crap” moment.

Maybe, just maybe … it will be an orb in color.