The small print tells us this show has no connection to the fashion house of McQueen, nor does it feature any of Alexander McQueen’s designs. You could think it’s a cynical attempt to get bums on seats for classical music, but it is created by McQueen’s longtime musical director, John Gosling, alongside Robert Ames, conductor of the London Contemporary Orchestra. The LCO plays music that inspired the designer, all run together like a DJ mix with theatrical lighting and multi-genre guest performers.

Far from “unnatural”, most of the harmonies here are as concordant as Classic FM, mostly film soundtracks (The Hours, The Piano, a couple of John Williams’) and tearjerkers (Dido’s Lament, Barber’s Adagio for Strings). The friction, however, is all in the combinations. For example: two dancers posturing in nude body stockings – one has hooves instead of hands and tights over her face – and then behind them, the cello section in formal white tie and tails. Hearing Handel cut with the Rolling Stones in a jaunty string arrangement, or a blast of Nirvana, feels like your GCSE music teacher trying to be cool, although the blaring siren of Armand Van Helden’s Witch Doktor is genuinely unsettling.

Cabaret singer Le Gateau Chocolat always has presence and fabulous costumes – one here resembles a green Quality Street-wrapper – but like the rest of this show seems under-rehearsed. The two dancers, choreographed by Holly Blakey, appear in superfluous layers that exaggerate the messy world of the choreography and it is hard to tell whether it’s being serious or sarcastic when the dancers shake their heads comically in time with a piano trill.

There’s a superficiality to this genre clash; are these art forms really speaking to each other or is it provocation for the sake of it? But there are genuinely illuminating moments in a film choreographed by Michael Clark, a friend of McQueen’s, both men steeped in classical craft and punk spirit. We see dancer Jules Cunningham in a very Isabella Blow hat, and Simon Williams dancing to Barber’s Adagio, one of the most loved/hackneyed pieces of music. And yet the shocking starkness of Clark’s ironed-out angles cuts through the familiarity to bring a laser focus to the music. It’s a show full of contradictions, wrestling between sweet and edgy, but ending up quite middle of the road.