In many ways, the case of Marius Borg Høiby, who was sentenced to four years in prison last week after being found guilty of offences including domestic violence and two counts of rape, was exceptional.

The king’s 29-year-old step-grandson grew up in the public eye alongside the royal family, mixing in Oslo’s wealthiest circles, partying at exclusive nightclubs and having afterparties at his family’s official royal residence.

But at its core the case also highlights a dark universal truth, one that has resonated with Norwegians and people around the world: the prevalence of violence, particularly sexual violence, in daily life, even in one of the world’s supposedly most gender equal countries, and how it has been exacerbated by the digital age. It has also exposed, despite important changes to Norway’s consent law last year, a severe lack of understanding of the issue across Norwegian society, experts say, from children to teenagers to prosecutors.

“The verdict has been on everyone’s lips, both in my personal world with my friends, but also here at the office we have discussed this quite a bit,” said Åsne Solberg, a legal adviser at JURK, which provides free advice to women at their offices in Oslo.

Like many other Norwegian women, Solberg has been personally shaken by the combination of the trial, and the publication of the Epstein files, which revealed details of the years-long friendship between Høiby’s mother, the crown princess Mette-Marit and the late US sex offender.

“You really get a glimpse of how some of these men resonate, or don’t resonate, with their own actions,” she said. “And how, deep down on the inside, they perceive women and the worth of women and what they can do to women. I think it’s just very dark, honestly.”

She also knows from professional experience that the Høiby case is not unique.

Despite Norway’s reputation as a global leader on gender equality, one in five women have been raped at least once, and one in 10 have experienced serious partner violence. “We call it the Nordic paradox,” said Solberg. “That on paper we are very equal but when it comes to our violence statistics it is quite dire still.”

Norway’s new consent laws, which came into effect last year, criminalise sex without explicit consent, meaning prosecutors don’t need to prove violence or threats or the incapacity of the victim to resist to get a rape conviction. The charges against Høiby related to incidents that took place from before the new laws came into effect.

Sweden, Denmark, Finland and Iceland have also introduced consent-based rape laws. Officials in Sweden said changing the legal definition of rape to sex without consent led to a 75% increase in convictions.

Solberg, who has campaigned for years for the law change, said she thinks it would have made a difference in the Høiby case. “This whole case and the proceedings illustrate why we needed the change in the penal code,” she said.

It was especially apparent, she said, in the focus on whether or not victims were asleep during the rapes. Under the new law, this would not have been necessary, she believes. “The most relevant theme of evidence would be whether she consented or not, not whether she was actually asleep or not.”

Nok Norge (Enough Norway) is an umbrella organisation for government-funded centres that provide support to sexual abuse victims around the country, including in some schools. It says behaviour demonstrated in the Høiby trial was representative of a broader culture around sex and explicit image sharing.

Ingvild Hestad Torkelsen, the organisation’s leader, said “porn is getting into bedrooms very early … We have a lot of girls that come to our centres that say the first time they had sex the boys wanted to strangle them because they’ve seen that done in porn … It’s more brutal or aggressive very early.”

Increased screen time has also left gaps in knowledge about how to communicate and read body language effectively, she said. While schools teach sex education, it is more about the “mechanics” of sex than feelings, boundaries or communication.

Kari Helene Partapuoli, the secretary general of the Norwegian women’s public health association Sanitetskvinnene, said the issue of intimate photos and videos – including those taken with consent – are an added concern for children and young people.

“There are a lot of closed groups,” she said. “It’s something that keeps coming up. And I think everyone who is a parent today has those discussions with their children, teenagers especially, boys or girls.”

Before the start of the trial, Sanitetskvinnene reported a rise in the number of women reporting abuse and sexual assault at the hands of their partners.

Partapuoli hopes the verdicts, some of which have been appealed by Høiby, will have a much wider impact on Norwegian society: “All of history shows that you have to speak up. Unfortunately, often an individual has to go through that kind of public scrutiny, like these women have done in this court case, and also in rape cases.”

But, she added, there is some way to go. “We have to keep talking about it, learning, changing attitudes and taking it through court cases. This does not have an easy fix, but you have to keep working.”