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The Guardian

New Zealand’s North Island braces for Cyclone Vaianu with thousands ordered to evacuate Artemis II splashdown – in pictures Swalwell denies allegations of sexual assault as calls grow for him to withdraw from California governor race Trump news at a glance: Epstein survivors have words for Melania Trump after surprise statement Multiple people face charges, including murder, in California fireworks blast Rory McIlroy surges into six-shot Masters lead with stunning second-round flourish Roberto De Zerbi targets ‘Ange-ball’ revival to save Spurs from relegation Bath hit back to reach semi-final after stunning Northampton in 11-try epic Australia crash out of BJK Cup after Britain secure upset with doubles win Zebras, wealth and power: Hungary’s election tests Orbán’s grip on power ‘TikTok effect’ brings sellout crowds and younger fans to Grand National meeting King signs up David Beckham to his Chelsea flower show team The war over Omagh’s gold: the £21bn mine plan tearing a community apart Britain’s shadow workforce is paid as little as 65p an hour. Who cares for the carers? Tim Dowling: my wife is on a quest to restore my thinning hair SUVs are making Britain’s potholes worse, say scientists Blind date: ‘She claimed she was usually shy. I wouldn’t have guessed’ I’m a sauna person now: the Becky Barnicoat cartoon ‘I got everything I dreamed of – when I had no ability to handle it’: Lena Dunham on toxic fame, broken friendships and her ‘lost decade’ Six great reads: the man who let snakes bite him, masked heavy metal and the brutal reality for foreign students in the UK Meera Sodha’s recipe for noodles with rose beancurd, spring greens and egg Cuba’s doctors were a lifeline for the world. Now the Caribbean is shamefully complicit in the US drive to expel them An environmental disaster in Moldova has Russia’s fingerprints all over it ‘This is as important as your teeth’: are you skipping this key part of mouth hygiene? Man arrested after four die trying to cross Channel in small boat Ukraine war briefing: doubts linger in Kyiv over Moscow’s promise to uphold Orthodox Easter ceasefire Ichiro Suzuki statue unveiling goes awry as bronze bat snaps during ceremony Arrest of national war hero Ben Roberts-Smith cuts deeply to core of Australian psyche European football: Real Madrid held at home by Girona to extend winless run ‘You come back different’: how rugby players change after motherhood Human rights groups decry US plan for Guantánamo camp for Cuban migrants Potential US host cities for 2031 Women’s World Cup games mull withdrawal over Fifa concerns Arne Slot insists he is ‘aligned’ with Liverpool board and fans as squad is rebuilt Kamala Harris ‘thinking about’ running for president again in 2028 JD Vance warns Iran against trying to ‘play’ the US in peace talks West Ham double up twice to thrash Wolves and put Spurs in relegation zone Trump administration releases new renderings of so-called ‘Arc de Trump’ Bafta apologises for events surrounding John Davidson’s Tourette’s outburst Cocktail of the week: Bar Shrimp’s la rosita – recipe New drug may extend survival in aggressive ovarian cancer, trial shows One dead and 27 injured after bus with British passengers crashes in Canary Islands OpenAI CEO Sam Altman’s home targeted with molotov cocktail Alarm as acting CDC director delays report showing Covid vaccine benefits Argentina just ripped up its pioneering glacier law. 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Could force be the secret to supercharging your fitness? ‘Irresponsible failure’: Google, Meta, Snap and Microsoft slam EU over child sexual abuse law lapse Blank canvas: what to wear with white trousers Critics assemble! Here’s my list of the greatest superhero movies of all time Amazon to finally launch Leo satellite internet in ‘mid-2026’, says CEO Pete Hegseth’s holy war: the militant Christian theology animating the US attack on Iran Toxic putdowns, brutal zingers ... and an unexpected love story – inside the joyful climax to brilliant sitcom Hacks Add to playlist: the beautifully dazed, countrified indie-rock of Tracey Nelson and the week’s best new tracks ‘I’m worried there’s too much of me,’ says a birch: inside the interspecies council giving nature a voice Dolce & Gabbana says co-founder Stefano Gabbana has quit as chair Why is anyone surprised by the US and Israel’s latest war? It’s only what the world allowed them to do in Gaza Super Mario what?! The seven best obscure Mario games Holly Humberstone: Cruel World review – Taylor Swift fave trades gothic melancholy for pop glow-up Thrash review – cursed shark thriller sinks like a stone on Netflix ‘The biggest, baddest, saltiest chick you would ever see’: why no one sang the blues like Big Mama Thornton Go Gentle by Maria Semple review – a joyfully clever New York romcom ‘Tranquil, natural and barely a tourist in sight’: readers’ favourite hidden gems in Spain Benjamina Ebuehi’s sweet and salty chocolate chip cookies recipe ‘I’m not a commercial director – I’m not even a professional film-maker’: Jim Jarmusch on the seven-year journey to make his new film Malcolm in the Middle: Life’s Still Unfair review – the TV magic they’ve created here is absolutely miraculous The Miniature Wife review – Matthew Macfadyen is wasted in this pointless comedy From soups and greens to roots, how to survive the ‘hungry gap’ From fat transplants to LED mittens: how the fear of ‘old lady hands’ mobilised the beauty industry Anna Wintour’s Vogue cover is more than a cameo – it’s a power play ‘They’re gonna make me cry’: I competed at a speed puzzling championship You be the judge: should my girlfriend stop mixing gold and silver jewellery? Maritime and port workers: how is the Middle East conflict affecting you? How games capture the awe and terror of cosmic isolation Why does alcohol make us both happy and miserable – and what else does it do to our minds and bodies? I never text back – and it’s ruining my relationships The pet I’ll never forget: Beau, the labrador who saved my life Life Is Strange: Reunion review – a decade-long story comes to an impassioned close Why is gaming becoming so expensive? The answer is found in AI Sign up for the First Edition newsletter: our free daily news email Sign up for the Feast newsletter: our free Guardian food email
Drowning in the banter-sphere: how can the Premier League rivals handle the heat?
Barney Ronay · 2026-04-27 · via The Guardian

In his new book, Saved, Gianluigi Buffon talks about feeling crushed by nerves even at the peak of his playing career. The day before the 2006 World Cup final Buffon and Gennaro Gattuso walked past the French squad after training and were immediately sent into a tailspin by their opponents’ intimidating size and athleticism.

“We don’t stand a chance,” Gattuso joked, not actually joking. Buffon spent most of the night smoking in the hotel corridor with half the Italy team. At breakfast nobody could speak. They turned up at the stadium already feeling exhausted.

Luckily Buffon found his own way to cope. Before kick-off he stripped naked and sat in the dressing room talking to his goalie gloves. “I started a discussion with them. It was as if that inseparable instrument of my work could give something back to me. A part of me thinks that spirits or energies lurk in those objects and that they can affect games.”

Buffon went out feeling calm, made some brilliant saves, and was in goal when Italy won the penalty shootout and a fourth World Cup.

Reading this now it is hard not to wonder if Mikel Arteta needs to start talking to his iconic three-quarter-length gardening coat a bit more, or staging a naked one-to-one with his lucky black merino rollneck. What spirits, what energies lurk in the inner seams of those grey polyester slacks, stained with grass, sweat, hair gel, fear?

With four weeks still to run it is striking how a Premier League season previously dismissed as room temperature fare has boiled down not just to a gripping finish, but more to a kind of widescreen psychodrama. There is an acceptance that the endgame at the top and the bottom will be decided by how three London clubs, Arsenal, Tottenham and West Ham, cope with extreme pressure.

This feels like something new. Tight finishes are common enough. But the outcome has never been so closely tied up in notions of bottling and mental fragility, sport staged as a theatre of pain, torture porn: blanched and quivering Arsenal fans, the haunted eyes of Xavi Simons, Arteta chained to an industrial sink hacksawing off his own arm in return for a late equaliser at Selhurst Park.

There are two notable things about this. First, its arbitrary nature. Had Yoane Wissa not addressed his late chance at the Emirates with all the cold precision of a man playing in a set of fishing waders, a gritty 1-0 win would have become a potentially fatal moment of choke.

Manchester City, meanwhile, made the sensible choice to drop their points in January not April, thereby assuming the role of fearless buccaneers of the chase. Pep is wearing pleated slacks. Rayan Cherki is basically playing football with a Calippo in one hand. If City lose the league by a point now this will be a heroic, ballsy point. By the same token Wolves and Burnley haven’t collapsed or frozen. They just lost. Early on. A lot. Before it became a referendum on character.

Manchester City’s Rayan Cherki smiling
Manchester City’s Rayan Cherki seems immune to the pressure and almost to be enjoying himself. Photograph: Conor Molloy/ProSports/Shutterstock

The more urgent point is how bizarrely unmapped the process of managing this pressure seems to be. In an industry where every unit of play is broken down and parcelled out, where every physical aspect is logged and controlled, from nutrition to data-modelled tactics, dealing with the mental stuff still seems largely unhinged and random.

After the Newcastle game on Saturday Declan Rice spoke about how pressure is “just noise and you have to block it out”. After his late winner against Everton, Callum Wilson disagreed. He’s not blocking out the noise. He’s channelling it. The crowd are West Ham’s 12th man and “we’re going to need them”. Which one is it? And why, when it comes to the mental aspect, does everyone here seem to be scrabbling around looking for their own ad hoc piece of voodoo.

Pressure in football has often been addressed by intangible means. Brian Clough used to get his players to bundle into the goal net in training, or run en masse through the stinging nettles.

José Mourinho’s response to pressure was to create random alternate drama, to fill the space with siege-based distraction. Gareth Southgate went full control, breaking down every part of the penalty shootout, entering the sports psychology, chimp-brain zone. At Manchester United, Matt Busby based his paternalistic empowerment style on being as different as possible from his own manager at Liverpool, George Kay, who was notorious for spending entire games holding his head in his hands and moaning aloud.

The nature of pressure itself has changed profoundly in the last few years. Human beings have never at any stage in their history had to cope with being assailed continually by the brain-shouts of eight billion fellow souls. This is now an inescapable noise, the hum of the internet hive mind, the rolling 24-hour cycle, hungry for its heat, its flesh.

West Ham’s Callum Wilson celebrates with fans
West Ham’s Callum Wilson celebrates his late, late winner against Everton on Saturday. Photograph: Tony O Brien/Reuters

In this context the current season has become entirely hostage to the banter-sphere, a meme-war without end, an endless rolling wall of gloat and taunt. The combined effect on players still seems hugely underinvestigated, a subject for future doctoral theses once the title-race riots of 2027 have devastated the earth. So why hasn’t professional sport grasped this yet?

Even a manager as meticulous and process-driven as Arteta has been reduced to a series of gimmicky best-guesses. At times Arteta has decided it is his job to bring the vibes, to create a super-laid-back atmosphere. Arsenal have tried to curate having a good time, to work really, really hard at being the most relaxed guys in the building.

Little wonder this can feel stagey and awkward, the least-controlled part of the Arsenal project. Get on the fun boat. Be who we are.

Guardiola has played his hand well, helped by experience, having better players, and by being the chasing team. Roberto De Zerbi has decided to be nice at Spurs. “My work is not so much on the pitch, they are good guys, I feel sorry for them. I can be a big brother.’ Nuno Espírito Santo has also played it well at West Ham, going from brutally honest (“Concern becomes anxiety, becomes silence. That anxiety passes to the players”) to a kind of positive reinforcement, talking now in glowing terms about energy and togetherness.

The more urgent question is why there is no more formal playbook here; how a sport as sharp-edged and science-heavy as football is hostage to the best guesses of its managers in trying to process pressure. Perhaps this is to hope for too much. Humans are endlessly complex beings. Personality is not fixed. The chemistry of teams shifts all the time. It is a huge part of the sport’s ongoing fascination that this is not a machine simulation, that the human element continues to intrude. But managing it, or at least having a more structured methodology, also feels like the next great leap forward.

The next few games will be interesting in this regard. City play their next game on 4 May. Arsenal will be six points clear if they beat Fulham on Saturday evening, a team that has taken points off them in three of their last five meetings. They might have been better off chasing for a while, given Arteta’s new tick-em-off, nothing to lose approach. West Ham versus Arsenal at the London Stadium on 10 May promises to provide one of the great nerve-offs of recent times. Either way it seems right that Arteta is going to stick to his process on the pitch, whatever the messaging off it.

There is a theory that Arsenal will at some point experience The Freeing Up, a bursting of the dam, pressure transformed into joy juice, flying without wings, football without fear. Is this a good idea? The tactical straitjacket is at least a form of support. The team has come this far in acquisitive mode, gatherers not hunters, storing up its pile of nuts through the winter. The entire energy of the project is based on these fine margins, including the energy around it.