Late-night hosts reacted to the breakdown of peace talks between the US and Iran and Donald Trump’s one-sided beef with Pope Leo XIV.

Jon Stewart

Jon Stewart returned to the Daily Show on Monday evening to break down the public clashes between Donald Trump and Pope Leo XIV, which began when the pope delivered a “beautiful, compassionate message” for the Easter holiday calling for peace around the world.

“It does not come into my brain that anyone in the world hearing the Pope’s message of peace will have some kind of weird problem with it,” the host noted. Except for Trump, who posted on his social media website Truth Social that the leader of the Catholic church was “weak” and a “loser”.

“I am really starting to sour on this president,” Stewart joked. “Look, President Trump, I know the Vatican’s been critical of your policies, but you gotta remember that at the end of the day you and the Catholic church both historically care deeply about the same thing – covering up sex scandals.”

The host noted that while Trump’s comments upset many Christians, “please don’t worry”, as “it gets worse”. He then shared an AI-generated image that Trump posted which depicted him as Jesus Christ himself, healing a sick man while flanked by disciples. That man, Stewart added, happened to look a bit like himself.

“I know I don’t have the vigor and spunk of my MTV days, but I didn’t know we were here already,” he quipped. “I didn’t realize my look had reached leper territory. I mean, from the picture, it looks like it was touch-and-go with me for a while.”

The image, unsurprisingly, triggered much backlash even from conservative commentators. But when Trump was asked by a White House reporter about the now-deleted image, he claimed that “it’s supposed to be me as a doctor making people better”.

“That’s you as a doctor? Why don’t you own it, you big puss bag?” Stewart retorted. “Do you even care about lying to us any more? Is it over? Has this relationship gone still? Your lies used to have a real spark: ‘They’re eating the cats and dogs,’ ‘Venezuela stole the 2020 election.’ And now the best you’ve got is: ‘Oh, it wasn’t Jesus. I’m a doctor.’ You need to find your happy place, and fast. We expect better lies, sir.”

Stephen Colbert

On the Late Show, Stephen Colbert opened with news that peace talks in Islamabad between the US and Iran failed, at least according to chief negotiator JD Vance. “Before he admitted to this failure, JD tried to distract with some odd praise,” the host noted before a clip of Vance addressing the press and deflecting potential criticism with: “whatever shortcomings of the negotiations, it wasn’t because of the Pakistanis, who did an amazing job.”

“Yeah, dude, no one is blaming the Pakistanis,” Colbert laughed. “It’s like telling your girlfriend ‘baby, whatever my shortcomings are in the bedroom, let’s not blame my erectile dysfunction on the Pakistanis, who I think we can all agree did an amazing job.’

“Now, you might be wondering: where was Trump when this was all going down?” he continued. “Well he was attending to the most important goings on” at a UFC fight in Miami. “Of course, in this case, UFC stands for ‘U gotta be Fucking Cidding me,’” he quipped.

When Trump received word that talks with Iran had collapsed, he “posted his revenge” on Truth Social: “effective immediately, the United States Navy, the Finest in the World, will begin the process of BLOCKADING any and all Ships trying to enter, or leave, the Strait of Hormuz.”

“Wait so we’re blockading Iran’s blockade?” Colbert wondered. “That’s actually genius. It’s like a plumber saying ‘you know, some guys would unclog this toilet. But I’m going to play some 12-dimensional chess and double clog it.’”

Later in his monologue, Colbert touched briefly on Trump’s ongoing criticism of the pope, whom he has called a “loser”.

“According to one Italian religious historian, not even Hitler or Mussolini attacked the pope so directly and publicly,” Colbert noted, before adding: “It’s never great when someone says, ‘You should really be more discreet and respectful. You know, like Hitler.’”

Jimmy Kimmel

“We have a fight between the president and the pope. The world has become a real life episode of South Park,” said Jimmy Kimmel on Monday night.

The host then pulled up the Trump’s AI-generated image that depicted him as Jesus. “The first problem I see is his hands are normal size. That’s not realistic,” he joked.

“This little detour into messiah status did not get Trump the reaction he was hoping for from the Christian community,” he continued. “Overall, they’re not on board with the whole false idols thing. And a lot of people were upset. So Trump or his team deleted the post, which is notable because his account almost never deletes his crazy posts. Last week, when he threatened to kill a civilization, that’s still up. The Jesus post is down. So you know this one was trouble.”

Which is perhaps why Trump tried to claim, to a White House reporter, that the image actually depicted him as a doctor trying to heal someone.

“This is why, on top of being reckless and a liar and just ridiculous in general, Trump is also a coward,” Kimmel fumed. “I don’t know which is more offensive, how dumb he is, or how dumb he thinks we are.”