Name: French beer
Age: About 11,700 years.
Appearance: Bright, golden and everywhere.
I thought French people drank wine, not beer. That is an absurd national caricature. I suppose you think they also cycle everywhere with strings of onions around their necks too.
Well that’s obviously nonsense. Exactly. Plus, they drink more beer than wine now.
Sacré bleu! It’s true. According to figures just released by the International Organisation of Vine and Wine, the French drank 10m litres more beer than wine last year.
What, each? No, nationally. But it is significant, because this is the first time that beer has overtaken wine as France’s drink of choice.
So France is now a nation of lagered-up boozehounds? No, quite the opposite. Younger generations are generally drinking less and less across the board. It’s just that, on the rare occasions they do, they’re eschewing the stuffiness of wine.
Anything else to blame for the shift? In France, wine has always been drunk with meals, but people are eating less formally these days. It’s hard to justify cracking open a bottle of red when you’ve just Deliverooed yourself a Big Mac.
That’s sad. But it happens everywhere. Beer is the ideal drink to insert into modern life. Unlike wine – or vodka in Russia, or baijiu in China – there isn’t any real ceremony or formality to it. When you want a beer, you just go and get a beer.
I might go and get one now. Plus, there’s the strength of the stuff too. As successive generations drink less, a 330ml bottle of 5% beer (1.7 units of alcohol) is going to be far more attractive than a 250ml (large) glass of 12% red wine (1.5 units).
I can’t work out if this is good news or bad news. That depends who you are. If you’re a public health official, then the fact that France is lowering its average alcohol intake has to be something to celebrate.
But? But if wine is literally part of your national identity, then it’s a different matter. Still, at least wine isn’t everything. They have their baguettes, after all.
Last year it was reported that the national consumption of bread in France has fallen by 86% over the past 80 years. Touche.
Do say: “Un petit verre de bière, s’il vous plaît.”
Don’t say: “Gars! Gars! Gars! Gars! Pintes! Pintes! Pintes!”