Name: Tin Can.
Age: Launched last April.
Incorrect. It was patented in 1810 by a canny (ha) British merchant named Peter Durand … That was the tin can, created to preserve food. This is the Tin Can.
Well, excuse me. And what is this upper-case Tin Can? A phone.
What, two tins connected by a piece of string? That’s what kids did in the olden days. Not quite, but it is aimed at children.
It’s a nightmare, isn’t it, how these tech companies are targeting children, getting them hooked early. Actually, it was parents who …
We’ve tried everything: clear boundaries, strict time limits, no phones at the table, definitely no phones in the bedroom. Wait, though, because that’s sort of what this is about …
We’ve done all the parental control, screen locks, digital detoxes, even family board games, but they get around them or they’re not interested. Which is exactly why …
At least there’s going to be a smartphone ban in English schools … Listen! The Tin Can isn’t a smartphone – that’s the whole point. It was designed by three Seattle dads, who made a phone they’d be happy for their own kids to have, without much tech or even a screen. No texting, no apps, no games.
What does it have? Bright colours, big numbers, a curly cord between the handset and the base and a cable into the wall.
It’s a landline! I did read somewhere that landlines are back. It’s supposed to look like one, but calls are made via wifi and it plugs into a normal power socket.
Who ya gonna call? Friends, grandparents, neighbours, anyone on an approved list, which eliminates the parental angst about strangers getting through.
OK, but look at it! No self-respecting kid I know would be seen dead with a Tin Can to their ear. Bloomberg reports hundreds of thousands of sales and schools are endorsing it.
I’m just worried that children may not be so keen, given that it doesn’t do the things kids want to do. Chet Kittleson, Tin Can’s CEO, says the response from parents and kids has been “incredible”.
Amazing that he’s so positive about it. Well, I guess it’s possible kids don’t actually want to spend every waking hour doomscrolling, posting on TikTok and worrying about pictures of parties that they weren’t invited to.
In my experience, that’s exactly what they want to do. Anyway, how much is it? The Tin Can is available only in the US and Canada and costs $100 (£74). Calls between Tin Cans are free. If you want to call regular phone numbers, it’s $9.99 a month.
Seems quite expensive for a dumbphone. You can’t put a price on your kids’ safety!
Do say: “It’s good to talk.”
Don’t say: “I don’t want to chat to Grandad again!”