The schedule-dominating football tournament has reached its midway mark, which means it’s time for isotonic drinks, orange segments and in-depth TV analysis.

From weepy cult heroes to watery bloopers, from panto villain to potty-mouthed pundits, here’s our highlights of the World Cup coverage so far …

Emma Hayes taunts the trolls

She’s one of Britain’s best coaches, having won seven WSL titles with Chelsea and leading the USA women’s team to Olympic gold. But depressingly, ITV analyst Emma Hayes still attracts misogynistic abuse online. When she popped up with her “tactics chalkboard”, many viewers found it astute and incisive. Others took pleasure in criticising her appearance or pointing out that she was presenting from a kitchen.

Hayes had the last laugh. She responded by pointedly wearing a jacket emblazoned with feminist slogan: “She will change the world”. And drily told viewers: “Let’s focus on the game. I know that’s a challenge for some of us at home.”

Gary Lineker switches sides

Former BBC linchpin Gary Lineker has been revelling in his newfound freedom, working for Netflix in the US while branding his former employers “soulless” for broadcasting from “a green box in Salford”.

The generously eared crisp enthusiast promptly made a surprise return to free-to-air TV as a pundit on ITV’s coverage of Germany v Côte d’Ivoire – even fitting in a tongue-in-cheek cameo as the main anchor. “Thank you for joining us on ITV for this one,” he greeted viewers. “Another day, another game, another channel.” He was promptly cut off by actual host Laura Woods, who interjected with: “Gary, that’s my job!” “Sorry,” replied Lineker. “Old habits.”

Tidy finish

Japanese supporters have stolen locals’ hearts by staying behind after matches to clean up the stadium. Instead of heading for the exits at the final whistle, they whip out bin liners to fill with rubbish. The polite gesture, which has become synonymous with the nation’s World Cup appearances, is rooted in the Shinto religion, which believes everyday items are spiritual and worthy of respect. “A bird leaves nothing behind”, it says.

It’s being widely applauded as an example of sporting spirit – and not just by fans. The players apparently left their dressing room “spotless” without being asked after their 2-2 draw against the Netherlands. ​You’re welcome back any time, boys.

Professional fowl

Forget Zayu the jaguar, official Fifa mascot for co-host Mexico. The World Cup’s animal sensation is Merlin, a duck who wears a miniature Mexico shirt and customised socks. The feathered football fan went viral after waddling along with the jubilant crowd after Mexico’s 2-0 win over South Africa in the tournament’s opening match.

Merlin has since met Mexican president Claudia Sheinbaum, quacking his way on stage during her morning press conference. Merlin’s plumage remans unruffled by his newfound fame and he happily stops for selfies.

Pundit calls James Corden a ‘wanker’

Token US pundit Alexi Lalas has been enraging viewers with his loudly delivered, ill-informed opinions. His Fox colleagues Thierry Henry and Zlatan Ibrahimović appear to feel likewise, even refusing to pass the ball to the former USA defender during an in-studio kickabout.

However, Lalas did provide one golden moment when, after a trailer for After Hours With James Corden, he described Corden as a “full-kit wanker” live on-air, perhaps not fully understanding the British slang term. Henry’s face was a picture.

Hate for hydration breaks

They were supposedly brought in for player welfare but Fifa’s introduction of drink breaks midway through each half are backfiring badly. They’re heavily jeered for interrupting the flow of the beautiful game – not least when it’s pouring with rain in the stadium – with the widespread suspicion that it’s a cynical cash-grab, turning football into a four-quarter format for advertisers.

In fact, the only sight less popular than three-minute water-swigging sessions has been Fifa president Gianni Infantino, who masterminded the measure. Every time the camera cuts to the Dr Evil-esque head honcho on the big screen, he’s roundly booed and whistled.

Soggy not sorry

Belgium picked the wrong place for a team huddle during their opening match against Egypt. They forget to take the pitch sprinklers into account, meaning poor head coach Rudi Garcia got throughly soaked.

He spent the next 20 minutes damp in the dugout, looking as if he was entering a wet T-shirt contest, while his players struggled to take his instructions seriously.

Veteran keeper breaks the internet

The tournament’s first cult hero was an unlikely one: little-known Vozinha, the 40-year-old goalkeeper for World Cup debutants Cape Verde. When the tiny island nation faced Spain, 65 places higher in the world rankings, he pulled off a string of spectacular saves to keep a clean sheet, helping the minnows earn a shock 0-0 draw against the European champions.

At the final whistle, Vozinha was named man of the match and broke down in tears on the turf. “I cried because I grew up with my grandparents and unfortunately they died a few years ago,” he said. “I also cried because my mum didn’t manage to make it because of the visa costs.” Vozinha’s loved ones might not have been there for him but fans worldwide were. Overnight, his Instagram following rose from 40,000 to more than 15m.

Right up our Ally

It’s pot luck with ITV’s co-commentary team. While downbeat Lee Dixon sucks all the joy out of the room, Ally McCoist has the opposite effect. He combines humour, enthusiasm and insight, all delivered in a delicious Lanarkshire brogue.

The much-loved McCoist has even inspired his own drinking game by comedian Olaf Falafel but beware: playing along at home can lead to severe tipsiness. Make no mistake, Fletch, it really can.

‘Mum, I hate having my photo taken’

The England squad’s official Fifa photos have been causing much mirth when they flash up on-screen as the starting lineups are announced. Declan Rice is sunburnt. Dean Henderson gives sinister side-eye. On Mock the Week’s World Cup special, winger Anthony Gordon’s portrait was compared to Diana, Princess of Wales, Clare Balding, a “lesbian nana” and “the photo you’d put on the front of an order of service for an auntie’s funeral”.

Full-back Reece James has been roasted for keeping his arms stiffly by his side. Social media wags compared him to a table football figurine or a shy schoolboy who’s been told to come downstairs and show granny his snazzy new England kit.

Fries with that?

OK, it was a warm-up match the night before proceedings officially kicked off but it provided the tournament’s first vital talking point. Those who suspect that North America doesn’t quite “get” football had a field day when pitch-side diners were spotted during the England v Costa Rica friendly.

As Declan Rice prepared to take a corner, in full view behind him were oblivious spectators on the front row, sitting at tables and tucking into full alfresco meals. Very civilised, until a misdirected clearance lands in your soup.