Have you, like me, got an incurable case of World Cup fever? Have you spent hours staring intently at the wallchart, attempting to memorise the kick-off times of all 104 games, even – no, especially – Uzbekistan v DR Congo? Have you signed up for the office sweepstake, played Bracketology, listened to approximately 831 preview podcasts (including the Guardian’s Football Weekly, of course), and quietly left your moral reservations about the Trump of it all at the front door? I’m all in.

For people with no interest in football, however, this must be the most hellish of periods, where every last billboard, newspaper front page (and website) and cola can is devoted to the sport. And that’s before you even switch on your TV, where the tournament has laid waste to regular scheduled programming.

On that count, there’s good and bad news: the good news is that, due to the time difference, in the UK at least, just under half of this year’s tournament will take place in the wee small hours; the bad news is that due to the increased size of this Biggest World Cup Ever, there are 40 more matches than there were during the last tournament, and the thing drags on for more than a week longer.

Fear not though – pop culture is here to save you. Over the next five-plus weeks there is an abundance of great film and TV being released, enough of it to completely blot out this most bloated of tournaments.

Here’s the Guide’s guide to avoiding the World Cup.

Film

The cinema seems as good a place as any to escape hordes of celebrating Scotland/England/Cape Verde fans (unless your local cinema is showing the World Cup – make sure to Google in advance), and it’s a decent time for big releases, with horror sensations Obsession and Backrooms still screening, and Steven Spielberg’s latest blockbuster Disclosure Day arriving (see Take Five below for more on that). There’s another big one out next Friday, too: Toy Story 5, which is getting some very positive early buzz for its screen addiction-themed storyline.

Jackass: Best and Last, out 26 June, is the final ever bone-crunching outing for Johnny Knoxville and friends: expect to witness more shots to the testicles than even Vinnie Jones could serve up. Also out that day, right as France are playing their final group game, Jodie Foster makes her French-language debut in the elegant psychological mystery drama A Private Life. Gentleminions: get your suit back from the dry cleaners in time for Minions & Monsters on 1 July. Olivia Wilde’s much-buzzed-about wrong-com The Invite arrives two days later, as does Nirvanna: The Band – The Show – The Movie, a very funny, very scrappy spin-off of a beloved Canadian web series. On 10 July, as the World Cup is reaching its sharp end, you have two very different films to choose from: Evil Dead Burn and the live-action remake of Moana. And then, just in time for the final, some truly blockbuster counter-programming, in the form of the biggest film of the year: Christopher Nolan’s The Odyssey (17 July). Top that, Infantino!

Television

The World Cup has block-booked much of the primetime real estate this June and July, but there’s still plenty of alternative viewing to be found, starting with next Wednesday’s finale of Apple TV’s comedy-horror sensation Widow’s Bay. The following day brings yet another twisty Harlan Coben thriller, I Will Find You, to Netflix: the main reason to recommend this one is that it stars Britt Lower, for anyone suffering Severance withdrawal. The following week is a big one for returning series: House of the Dragon season three (HBO Max, weekly from 21 June) promises the biggest battle ever to hit Westeros in its opening episode; while The Bear (Disney+, all episodes 26 June) returns for its final season – and hopefully an uptick in form, after a couple of ropey recent outings.

Hopefully undercutting all the “U! S! A!” chest-beating of both the World Cup and the upcoming 250th American independence anniversary celebration is Life, Larry and the Pursuit of Unhappiness (HBO Max, 26 June), Larry David’s sideways look at the nation’s messy history. After some doomy dystopian drama for the height of summer? Season three of twisty thriller Silo (Apple TV, 3 July) has you covered. Ted Lasso is perhaps wisely holding off on its return until after the World Cup has finished (though the man himself is making an appearance at the US’s opening match tonight), but Hannah Waddingham fans won’t have to wait until then: she stars alongside Octavia Spencer in action comedy thriller mashup Ride Or Die (Prime Video, all episodes 15 July). And, ahead of World Cup final weekend, another final just as major (to its fans at least): Heartstopper Forever (Netflix, 17 July), a last feature-length episode of the utterly charming LGBTQ+ comedy drama.

Music

Festivals are a good way to escape the football (well, besides the fact that every second person at one tends to wear some sort of retro kit these days): there are a fair few running throughout the World Cup across the UK, from Isle of Wight and Creamfields in Cheshire to Glasgow’s TRNSMT: check out the Guardian’s summer festival guide for the full rundown. There are, of course, a ton of big outdoor gigs this summer too: Harry Styles, Bad Bunny, System of a Down, Wolf Alice and Kneecap are some of the major acts playing in parks or stadiums while the World Cup is on.

Can’t make any of those? Well, we’re blessed with a fine roster of new albums over the next six weeks. Big hitters include The Strokes’ Reality Awaits (24 July); Madonna’s Confessions on a Dancefloor: Part II (3 July); the 25th – TWENTY FIFTH?! – album by The Rolling Stones, Foreign Tongues (10 July); ascendant pop titan Gracie Abrams’ Daughter From Hell; and future funk wunderkind Steve Lacy’s Oh yeah? (both 17 July). I’m also excited to hear Graham Coxon’s Castle Park (19 June), recorded in 2011 but mysteriously shelved until now, the first album in 15 years from noise rockers Parts & Labour called Set of All Sets (10 July) and Alone Together (10 July), the new one from ferocious punk rockers Show Me the Body – catch them live, they’re brilliant and a bit terrifying.

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