The prosecution: Dougie

She says if you’re bagging stuff at the checkout, you’re holding up the people behind you

When Teresa and I go shopping in Lidl or Aldi, I want to pack the groceries the normal way. When we take our trolley up to checkout, I put everything on a conveyor belt. Right after the cashier scans the item, I put it into a shopping bag, and once that bag is full, I’ll put it in a trolley. Our packing is done right there, quickly and in good time.

But Teresa prefers to put all the items directly in the trolley after they’ve been scanned, and then go to the shelves at the back of the shop to pack our shopping into bags. She says it’s the correct way because apparently that’s what the shelves are for – to avoid congestion at the till – and that if you bag stuff at the checkout you’re holding people up. I think it’s fine.

Teresa doesn’t follow my method, and grocery shopping becomes a weird packing competition between the two of us: she’ll race to load stuff into the trolley to pack into bags at the shelves later, while I’ll pack items as they go, putting them directly into the bags.

She sabotages me on purpose. We end up with a mixed method, with half our shopping packed in the trolley and the other half packed at the shelves. There has never been a row or crossed words at the checkout, just a slightly frenetic vibe when we are both trying to pack things in different ways.

Teresa says her way of packing is more “European.” She’s from Eastbourne (which, she says, is closer to Europe) and has an affinity for continental living. Her family used to do booze and food runs to France, and she says Lidl and Aldi are German chains. I grew up going to Tesco.

The issue surfaced last year when we started living together. I think Teresa likes shopping and being in the supermarket. She wants to spend as much time there as possible, whereas I like to be in and out.

I’d consider switching to her method if she put the shopping away when we got home, but I’m the one who unpacks. The kitchen is my domain, as I’m mainly in charge of cooking and Teresa is in charge of the rest of the house, but I would appreciate her helping, and would compromise a bit if she did.

The defence: Teresa

He just doesn’t understand the system. The packing shelves at the back are there to help customers

Dougie had never really shopped at Lidl or Aldi before we moved in together, so he doesn’t understand the system. I’m trying to teach him the way. There are literally things in place in the store that support my style of packing.

Dougie wants to rail against this system because he’s a manager at work and likes to do things his own way. I also think it’s because he grew up shopping in Waitrose, where they used to pack your shopping for you.

I like to take my time packing my shopping properly. Aldi and Lidl are known for having very quick staff. I like it, but it feels a bit rushed when it’s all piling up as it comes off the conveyor belt. I like going to the shelves at the back as it takes the pressure off. It’s the calmest way of doing things and, crucially, it’s the way the shop was designed.

I say: “Look, they are whizzing through the checkout and you’re flapping around with the bag. Let’s just pack over there as you’re holding things up and making a mess of it.” But Dougie never listens. I want the checkout assistant to end the dispute by saying, “I agree, your way is the correct way,” but they don’t tend to respond to my desperate eyes.

Last week, I made us pack at the shelves and as we walked out Dougie said, “That was a complete waste of time.” But my way doesn’t take longer and it means things are packed nicely.

I think I’m like this because of my mum. She loves shopping in France as we lived near the Channel tunnel. I also have a deeply ingrained memory of a big Lidl opening and my mum started going there – it was a revelation for her when someone pointed out you could use the shelves to pack. It’s been drilled into me ever since.

We’ve been arguing about this for a while. Friends visited us recently and said it would be more efficient to pack at the shelves if we shopped on our own, but if the two of us go together we’d be quicker and could pack as we go. Maybe I’ll stick to the system when I’m on my own. I never put the shopping away at home though.

The jury of Guardian readers

Who will you send packing?

Double the packing, double the time doing a task that life is truly too short to linger over. Come on Teresa, there are plenty of other ways to emulate our continental neighbours that are far more enjoyable and “chic”.
Catherine, 41

Please consider spending a little bit extra to have your shopping delivered. I try not to go shopping with my partner, ever – particularly not to the supermarket. It’s a disaster waiting to happen.
Matthew, 50

If the kitchen is Dougie’s domain and he puts the shopping away with no help from Teresa, then of course his system should be followed. It’s a no-brainer.
Rebecca, 76

It’s madness to pack at the shelves – it definitely adds more time and I can’t see any benefit to making this mundane task take even longer. I also don’t think there’s anything “chic” about how you pack your supermarket shopping. If I were them, I’d try not to shop together – then they wouldn’t clash.
Lydia, 31

I’m with Dougie. Once the groceries are paid for, the time for any enjoyable supermarket lingering is over. It might be simpler if Teresa just left the packing to Dougie. If unpacking is his domain, then packing should be too.
Imogen, 46

Now you be the judge

In our online poll, tell us: is Teresa getting carried away?

The poll is now closed

Last week’s results

We asked if Rachel should stop mixing gold and silver jewellery.

3% of you said yes: Rachel is guilty

97% of you said no: Rachel is innocent